Two fish in a tank...

[shouldbeinbed]

a man goes to his doctors complaining about his hearing.

'what are the symptoms' asks the Dr


'They're a yellow cartoon family, but whats that got to do with my ears'

 

[Hacienda71]

[quote name='swee'pea99']How do you catch a unique rabbit?[/QUOTE]

Unique up on him?

 

[philipbh]

Without an eye????? You never took Biology then?

Without an eye - he can't find his hearing aid - obviously

 

[Davidc]

Unemployment has been eradicated



















































They've raised the school leaving age to 66

 

[swee'pea99]

Unique up on him?

Well done!

How do you catch a tame rabbit?

 

[threebikesmcginty]

[quote name='swee'pea99']How do you catch a tame rabbit?[/QUOTE]

the tame way?

 

[swee'pea99]

yup...

tame thing - unique up on it...

 

[threebikesmcginty]

your taxi's here...

 

[Davidc]

Why are Christmas cracker jokes environmentally friendly?

 

[Beardie]

Name three fish which begin and end with the letter 'K'.

 

[Beardie]

Why are Christmas cracker jokes environmentally friendly?

They're continually recycled.

 

[Davidc]

They're continually recycled.

Doh - you've heard it before.

 

[swee'pea99]

Kojak, Kodak and Kayak.

Oh no, hang on. That's not fish. That's an American photographic company, a bald, lollipop-sucking tv detective and a kind of boat. Sorry. Easy mistake to make.

 

[goo_mason]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in the sea?

Bob.


What's brown and peeks in windows?

A nosey sh*te!


(this next one works better when you say it aloud)

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he was kneading a poo.


What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag?

One's made of plastic and harmful to small children, the other's for carrying your shopping home in.

 

[swee'pea99]

What d'you call a man with a tree on his head?






Edward

What d'you call a man with three trees on his head?










Edward Woodward

What d'you call a man with four trees on his head?



































I don't know either, but Edward Woodward would.