Two fish in a tank...

[martint235]

... one says to the other 'How the hell do you drive this thing?'

I thougt the punchline to this was meant to be "You man the gun, I'll drive"

 

[Beardie]

Name three fish which begin and end with the letter 'K'.

OK, the first one is 'Killer Shark'. (It goes downhill from there.)

 

[threebikesmcginty]

OK, the first one is 'Killer Shark'. (It goes downhill from there.)

Kedgeree with haddock ?

 

[Landslide]

What do you call a dear with no eye and no legs and no penis?

 

[swee'pea99]

Redickless - still no idea

 

[Fnaar]

What do you call a dear with no eye and no legs and no penis?

Still no f**k*ng idea

 

[Fnaar]

I saw a man who had jelly and custard in once ear, and sponge fingers and raspberries in the other.

I said to him "Excuse me, did you know you've got jelly and custard in once ear, and sponge fingers and raspberries in the other?"

He said "You'll have to speak up, I'm a trifle deaf.

 

[TVC]

Police found an ice cream man dead in the back of his van. He had a flake up each nostril, hundreds and thousands stuffed in his ears, and a bottle of raspberry sauce jammed in his mouth. The coppers think he topped himself.

 

[threebikesmcginty]

Police found an ice cream man dead in the back of his van. He had a flake up each nostril, hundreds and thousands stuffed in his ears, and a bottle of raspberry sauce jammed in his mouth. The coppers think he topped himself.

 

[Theseus]

What do you call an Irish man with a pane of glass behind each ear?

















Paddy O'doors

 

[Biscuit]

My neighbour recently started a business building yachts in my loft, sails have gone through the roof....

 

[just jim]

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It drove down the lane and turned into a field.

 

[Speicher]

Name three fish which begin and end with the letter 'K'.

OK, the first one is 'Killer Shark'. (It goes downhill from there.)

Kedgeree with haddock ?

Kwiksave battered haddock

 

[Hacienda71]

Kwiksave battered haddock

Kilmarnock

 

[philipbh]

I went to the doctor the other day

He said "You've got hypochondria."

I said "Not that as well."