Uncle Drago's agony column

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Drago, 10 Nov 2018.

  1. I'd not come across Sports Direct before so I had a look.

    It's possibly the only thing that is so depressing writing coursework seems more enjoyable, so thanks Uncle Drago...
     
    Gravity Aided and Paulus like this.
  2. Mugshot

    Mugshot Guru

    chope-1-e1529075870233.jpg
    He's just saying what we're all thinking :laugh:
     
    theclaud and Drago like this.
  3. Eddy

    Eddy Guru

    Uncle Drago, I am being troubled by a very bad case of dry dick, can you recommend something to ease the suffering?
     
  4. Dave7

    Dave7 Guru

    Location:
    Cheshire
    Uncle Drago...... as a specialist in this problem may I (humbly) respond.
    You will need a LARGE jar of vaseline and a hammer.
    Place your member on the lid of the jar and strike it with the hammer. I promise you will never again worry about it being dry.
     
  5. Eddy

    Eddy Guru

    wrong type of DD Dave .
     
  6. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Dear Freddy,

    Might I suggest a large dose of Dr Carol Vordermans Special Undercarriage Ungent. It doesn't cure mymsimilar problem, but it takes my mind off the problem for sometimes as long as 5 seconds.
     
    Eddy likes this.
  7. Dave7

    Dave7 Guru

    Location:
    Cheshire
    Well try it anyway......it will still take your mind of the problem.
     
    Gravity Aided, classic33 and Eddy like this.
  8. Andy_R

    Andy_R Hard of hearing..I said Herd of Herring..oh FFS..

    Location:
    County Durham
    As another expert in this field, I would recommend depilating the entire area first before attempting any treatment. Veet hair removal cream has many endorsements.
     
  9. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Indeed. Very quickly followed by copious amounts of Deep Heat.
     
  10. Dave7

    Dave7 Guru

    Location:
    Cheshire
    But surely......the time tried hammer and jar treatment first ?
     
  11. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Yes, yes. Hammer and jar, veet, deep heat.
     
  12. RealLeeHimself

    RealLeeHimself Just keep peddling, just keep peddling...

    Followed by cold bath? :laugh:
     
    Drago likes this.
  13. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    In ice cubes, and then jump In a boiling hot bath, followed by a bath of liquid nitrogen.

    Well, it is an agony thread...
     
    Last edited: 5 Dec 2018
  14. Moderators

    Moderators Guru Moderator

    Location:
    The Cronk
    Dear Uncle Drago,

    Some of your correspondents are writing sexist messages in a family friendly forum.

    It started off as a light-hearted thread, and we would prefer it to stay like that. Please ask them to be less explicit in their replies.
     
  15. Slow But Determined

    Slow But Determined Well-Known Member

    Can you tell me why whenever I turn the TV on it is an advert break?
     
    Gravity Aided and raleighnut like this.
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