Uncle Drago's agony column

[Threevok]

Dear unkey Drago

What's the best way to turn my old Ford Transit into a camper van ?

I've asked Julian Clary, but he doesn't do resprays

 

[pjd57]

Dear unkey Drago

What's the best way to turn my old Ford Transit into a camper van ?

I've asked Julian Clary, but he doesn't do resprays

just apologise and she'll let you back in the house.

 

[Drago]

Dear unkey Drago

What's the best way to turn my old Ford Transit into a camper van ?

I've asked Julian Clary, but he doesn't do resprays

Dear Ewok,

Prise the Transit badge off and affix it to a camper van. Expensive, but highly effective.

Love, Diane.

 

[Edwardoka]

Dear Aunty Abbot,

Firstly, happy new year.
Secondly, I've started seeing images of women everywhere, if it's not a German lingerie model it's a noted evolutionary biologist. I am extremely confused because normally when I find pictures of women on the internet it's because I've gone looking for them

Kind regards
Alfonso the well-dressed pug

 

[Drago]

Dear Aunty Abbot,

Firstly, happy new year.
Secondly, I've started seeing images of women everywhere, if it's not a German lingerie model it's a noted evolutionary biologist. I am extremely confused because normally when I find pictures of women on the internet it's because I've gone looking for them

Kind regards
Alfonso the well-dressed pug

An interesting letter there from my dear friend Louis Walsh. However, I must say that looking at women is utterly demeaning and something the labour party doeant/does/sometimes endorse, depending on how distant I am due to dreaming of Jeremy when you ask me.

Love,

Comrade Diane.

 

[Paulus]

Dear Auntie comrade Diane,
When I am out cycling along the highways and byways of the grand metropolis, I often get feelings of grandeur, also superiority. Is this normal for a flag carrying member of the hoi polloi?

 

[Nigel-YZ1]

Dear Unkey Dayglo,

I work with people that don't understand me. I'm a bit peaky at the moment but they won't let me bugger off for lots of paid leave and maybe a trip to Barbados on the company credit card. Is this normal or just due to brexit?

Kind regards

Someone asking for someone else as it's obvious everyone on agony columns do that
PS I tried Dear Deidre first but she refused to publish my letter as it's not a sexual problem (they don't allow that sort of thing in the office either).

 

[Drago]

Dear Auntie comrade Diane,
When I am out cycling along the highways and byways of the grand metropolis, I often get feelings of grandeur, also superiority. Is this normal for a flag carrying member of the hoi polloi?

Jeremy, I've told you to leave me alone!

 

[Drago]

Dear Unkey Dayglo,

I work with people that don't understand me. I'm a bit peaky at the moment but they won't let me bugger off for lots of paid leave and maybe a trip to Barbados on the company credit card. Is this normal or just due to brexit?

Kind regards

Someone asking for someone else as it's obvious everyone on agony columns do that
PS I tried Dear Deidre first but she refused to publish my letter as it's not a sexual problem (they don't allow that sort of thing in the office either).

Dear Mr Farage,

I suggest you become a labour councillor for an impoverished inner city borough. You can then go one a fact finding mission to the Seychelles at the tax payers expense.

 

[Paulus]

Dear auntie Drago,
MrsP has shared her heavy cold and now I think I am getting it. Should I do my communist duty and also share it to other patrons of the hotbed of mis-information called the Mitre Inn?
Yours, Jeremy.

 

[Drago]

[QUOTE 5526868, member: 9609"]Dear aunty @Drago

In 'hard man' type films where two big burly guys get up to do battle and they are giving each other the evil eye, they often do this thing with their necks tilting their heads from side to side making awful cracking noises - whats all that about ? have they all got serious neck problems or something.


In real life Tyson used to do it at the hand shake before the first round.[/QUOTE]

Dear Reiver,

This is the mating call of the greater muscles silverback alpha male film star. By doing this they are hoping to attract a mate.

 

[Drago]

Dear auntie Drago,
MrsP has shared her heavy cold and now I think I am getting it. Should I do my communist duty and also share it to other patrons of the hotbed of mis-information called the Mitre Inn?
Yours, Jeremy.

Dear Jeremy,

Please feel free to keep it to yourself, although if you were to infect Diana "Russ" Abbott with the germs you could be in line for a knighthood.

 

[classic33]

Dear auntie Drago,
MrsP has shared her heavy cold and now I think I am getting it. Should I do my communist duty and also share it to other patrons of the hotbed of mis-information called the Mitre Inn?
Yours, Jeremy.

T'is better to give than receive.

 

[Threevok]

Dear Auntie Drago (if that indeed, is your real name)

I've made a bit of a boo-boo here and said something that perhaps I shouldn't have

Now, everyone is treating me like a Nazi and my work is suffering accordingly.

What can I do to make amends ?

PS : My name is NOT Liam and you may NOT claim your five pounds

 

[roadrash]

Dear auntie drongo, I fear my wife has lost her sense of humour, apparently cling film over the toilet is not as funny as I thought it was,can you advise on how long it will take for my bruises to fade enough for me to go out in public.