Uncle Drago's agony column

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Drago, 10 Nov 2018.

  1. Elastic.

    Also: face away from windows when dressing.
     
  2. classic33

    classic33 Legendary Member

    Don't stand in front of windows when getting dressed.
     
    marinyork likes this.
  3. Threevok

    Threevok Junior Member (Trainee)

    Location:
    South Wales
    Dear unkey Drago

    What's the best way to turn my old Ford Transit into a camper van ?

    I've asked Julian Clary, but he doesn't do resprays
     
    roadrash, Beebo, Edwardoka and 3 others like this.
  4. pjd57

    pjd57 Über Member

    Location:
    Glasgow
    just apologise and she'll let you back in the house.
     
    Edwardoka, Drago, classic33 and 2 others like this.
  5. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Soiler of Y fronts

    Dear Ewok,

    Prise the Transit badge off and affix it to a camper van. Expensive, but highly effective.

    Love, Diane.
     
  6. Edwardoka

    Edwardoka Facetious Remark Generator

    Dear Aunty Abbot,

    Firstly, happy new year.
    Secondly, I've started seeing images of women everywhere, if it's not a German lingerie model it's a noted evolutionary biologist. I am extremely confused because normally when I find pictures of women on the internet it's because I've gone looking for them

    Kind regards
    Alfonso the well-dressed pug
     
    classic33 and Threevok like this.
  7. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Soiler of Y fronts

    An interesting letter there from my dear friend Louis Walsh. However, I must say that looking at women is utterly demeaning and something the labour party doeant/does/sometimes endorse, depending on how distant I am due to dreaming of Jeremy when you ask me.

    Love,

    Comrade Diane.
     
    Edwardoka, classic33 and Threevok like this.
  8. Paulus

    Paulus Getting older by the minute

    Location:
    Barnet,
    Dear Auntie comrade Diane,
    When I am out cycling along the highways and byways of the grand metropolis, I often get feelings of grandeur, also superiority. Is this normal for a flag carrying member of the hoi polloi?
     
    Edwardoka and Andy in Germany like this.
  9. Dear Unkey Dayglo,

    I work with people that don't understand me. I'm a bit peaky at the moment but they won't let me bugger off for lots of paid leave and maybe a trip to Barbados on the company credit card. Is this normal or just due to brexit?

    Kind regards

    Someone asking for someone else as it's obvious everyone on agony columns do that
    PS I tried Dear Deidre first but she refused to publish my letter as it's not a sexual problem (they don't allow that sort of thing in the office either).
     
    Low Gear Guy, Cuchilo, Drago and 4 others like this.
  10. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Soiler of Y fronts

    Jeremy, I've told you to leave me alone!
     
    Paulus likes this.
  11. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Soiler of Y fronts

    Dear Mr Farage,

    I suggest you become a labour councillor for an impoverished inner city borough. You can then go one a fact finding mission to the Seychelles at the tax payers expense.
     
  12. Reiver

    Reiver Ribbit Ribbit

    Dear aunty @Drago

    In 'hard man' type films where two big burly guys get up to do battle and they are giving each other the evil eye, they often do this thing with their necks tilting their heads from side to side making awful cracking noises - whats all that about ? have they all got serious neck problems or something.


    In real life Tyson used to do it at the hand shake before the first round.
     
  13. Paulus

    Paulus Getting older by the minute

    Location:
    Barnet,
    Dear auntie Drago,
    MrsP has shared her heavy cold and now I think I am getting it. Should I do my communist duty and also share it to other patrons of the hotbed of mis-information called the Mitre Inn?
    Yours, Jeremy.
     
    Drago and classic33 like this.
  14. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Soiler of Y fronts

    Dear Reiver,

    This is the mating call of the greater muscles silverback alpha male film star. By doing this they are hoping to attract a mate.
     
  15. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Soiler of Y fronts

    Dear Jeremy,

    Please feel free to keep it to yourself, although if you were to infect Diana "Russ" Abbott with the germs you could be in line for a knighthood.
     
    Paulus likes this.
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