Uncle Drago's agony column

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Dear Uncle Drago.

If you've been invited to a work Christmas Outing at the Christmas Market in Stuttgart and you are an extreme introvert, is it socially acceptable to fake your own death in order to avoid it?

If not, what other strategies do you suggest?
One word of warning! If you do fake your own death don't appear in an advert in a foreign country like Panama afterwards !
 

classic33

Leg End Member
One word of warning! If you do fake your own death don't appear in an advert in a foreign country like Panama afterwards !
Dear Giveitamiss

You may have already broken the first rule, "let no-one know".

Now may be the time to think of another means of making money. Imsurance companies will go to extrodanary lengths to avoid a payout. And as far to get any money back that has already been paid out.

Your idea, whilst sound, was bound to fail.

Yours
G. Reaper
 
Why don't subtitles get bigger when I turn the volume up ?
 

classic33

Leg End Member
Why don't subtitles get bigger when I turn the volume up ?
Dear Bewildered

Subtitle size is governed by EIA608. Too small, they're whispering, could be seen as subliminal advertising. Leading to you turning them off. Similarly a loud, sudden noise would previously have covered most of the screen, thus only partly visible. It's why manufacturers bring ever larger TV screens out, getting the sales people to have you sitting closer to the screen.

Yours
AI
 

classic33

Leg End Member
Dear Auntie Abbot, I am sitting in my best clothes in wet mud in a torrential downpour in the garden. Normally despite being an otherwise intelligent human being, I ask my mother whether or not to come in out of the rain.

My mother tells me I have no common sense. I have a horrific cough and what seems to be pneumonia. My mother is not speaking to me so will not tell me either to come into the house or stay out in the garden.

Will you tell me where to go?
 
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