Uncle Drago's agony column

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^^^^^:popcorn:^^^^
 

Kempstonian

Has the memory of a goldfish
Location
Bedford
Dear Auntie Drago (if that indeed, is your real name)

I've made a bit of a boo-boo here and said something that perhaps I shouldn't have

Now, everyone is treating me like a Nazi and my work is suffering accordingly.

What can I do to make amends ?

PS : My name is NOT Liam and you may NOT claim your five pounds
Well you could shave that moustache off, get the swastika tattoo removed and try not to goose step down the corridor when you come in. Oh yeah... and strap your right arm to your side, just in case...
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Dear Uncle Frodo,

I find myself unable to complete even the most rudimentary of tasks without being distracted. My procrastination is literally costing me friendships.
My question is this: how can I escape from the Brexit thread?

Kind regards
Mr Dyson,
Singapore

Dear Fred,

Suggest that there is a special place in Hell for people that dont agree with you, and you'll be blocked from the thread.

Love,

Don Tusk.
 

Dave7

Legendary Member
Location
Cheshire
Dear Uncle Drago.
My bowels are extremely good and very effective. They are also very regular. I find that I have a poo at exactly 06.15 every morning. The problem is that I dont get out of bed till 07.15.
Now, I dont mind this. In fact it is a quite nice, warming sensation.
However Mrs D has started to complain, which I think is unreasonable.
What suggestions can you offer to solve this problem.
Yours
Mr B Dump
 

perplexed

Guru
Location
Sheffield
Dear Uncle Frodo,

I find myself unable to complete even the most rudimentary of tasks without being distracted. My procrastination is literally costing me friendships.
My question is this: how can I escape from the Brexit thread?

Kind regards
Mr Dyson,
Singapore

Don't worry - that nice, fluffy, caring, Mr Rees Mogg says it will all be fine.

In 50 years time.
 
OP
OP
Drago

Drago

Legendary Member
Dear Uncle Drago.
My bowels are extremely good and very effective. They are also very regular. I find that I have a poo at exactly 06.15 every morning. The problem is that I dont get out of bed till 07.15.
Now, I dont mind this. In fact it is a quite nice, warming sensation.
However Mrs D has started to complain, which I think is unreasonable.
What suggestions can you offer to solve this problem.
Yours
Mr B Dump

It's time you moved into an old folks home, preferably one staffed by young ladies in skimpy nurses uniforms. It's worth paying extra for the bed bath.

Kind d regards,

Rupert Murdoch.
 

classic33

Leg End Member
Dear Aunty Abbott

I arrived home from work earlier than usual one day last week to find the house strangely quiet. My husband who works from home was not in the office or the shed at the bottom of the garden where he keeps his porn stash. I heard some strange noises from our bedroom upstairs so I went to investigate. Imagine my shock when I opened the door to find him prancing around in a corset, fishnet stockings and red patent fark-me high heels. I was amazed. He normally wears American tan tights and ballet pumps. Has he gone weird?

Concerned, Craigmillar
 
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