Uncle Drago's agony column

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by Drago, 10 Nov 2018.

  1. classic33

    classic33 Legendary Member

    With all the equipment to hand, she could have made it there.

    Worried,
    Andover, Hampshire.
     
    marinyork, Andy in Germany and Drago like this.
  2. Edwardoka

    Edwardoka Facetious Remark Generator

    Dear Mr Fist,

    I assure you that you have nothing to be worried about.
    And regarding the perceived slight of not receiving your refreshment in situ, know only that s͔̬̦͎̗p͕ą͍̱̬̙̪c̭̤̰̲̗̥è̺̮͈ ̤̣͓̰̼t͍̺̪͎̭̥e̟͘a̶͙̝͙ ̹̤͞ͅi͚̳͈͓̟͕ͅs̮̪̭͞ ̗͉̲̩̩͈ņ̬͔̤͕͇͎̭o̰̬͕̟͕t̴̫̜̦͈̲ ̷͓̺̙͚̠̭͙fơ̙r̞̳̠̣ ̟͜y̺̫̗̞̫̙̫o̖̘̠u͙̯ͅ

    Vincent F. Beauregard
    Beta Lyrae IV
    The Wirral, UK, Sol III
     
    Andy in Germany, classic33 and Drago like this.
  3. Dirk

    Dirk If 6 Was 9

    Location:
    Devon's Gold Coast
    Dear Uncle Drago,
    I'm currently doing an MOT for some nobber with a Smart car. Tell me how I can give him the good news with a straight face.
    Ta.
    Phil the Geezer
     
  4. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Dear Phil,

    I daresay he's a jolly nice chap. A big fan of EastEnders, and never ever watches Coronation Street. I suggest you slip him the pass with a crafty 50 folded inside to thank him for being an all round good egg.

    Love,

    Drago.
     
    Andy in Germany and Dirk like this.
  5. Archie_tect

    Archie_tect De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold

    Location:
    Northumberland
    Dear Uncle Drago,

    I have just taken over from my retired boss in the Ministry of Transport Garage Assessment Central Office. I have just received a brown envelope, with lots of cash in used tenners and a note from from 'Phil the Greek' telling me you know what to do.

    What should I do?
     
  6. Dirk

    Dirk If 6 Was 9

    Location:
    Devon's Gold Coast
    Dear Uncle Drago,
    Who said anything about a pass?
    He thinks I've gone out the back to print a certificate. I'm actually sitting in the pub thinking how I can best break the news.....

    Cheers - Phil the Geezer
     
    Salty seadog, raleighnut and roadrash like this.
  7. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    This is a new ministry process. I. The very near future you will be asked to produce an MOT certificate for a Smart car. You need to do so without question.

    The envelope and its contents is for the, erm, MOT Testers Benevolent fund.
     
    Pat "5mph", Edwardoka and Dirk like this.
  8. Edwardoka

    Edwardoka Facetious Remark Generator

    Dear Uncle Drago,

    I've been rather down of late so to get myself out of this rut decided to take up metalworking as a hobby, after being inspired by watching blacksmithing Youtube videos.
    To this end, I was in the process of obtaining some copper in order to create my first bronze sculpture when a local officer of the law frogmarched me back to the black maria crying alarums.

    How can he charge me with theft if the cables are public infrastructure? Public means it's free for everyone surely?

    Mr Paul Ian Key,
    Cell 42, The Local Constabulary
     
  9. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Dear Pete,

    Did you not slip the nice officer a brown envelope stuffed with a contribution to the police benevolent fund? Still, if you want the metal back check the officers eBay page.

    Love,

    Drago.
     
    Andy in Germany and Edwardoka like this.
  10. Dear Uncle Drago;
    Couldn't Chris Jericho and his scarves handle some commie wrestlers?
    Democrat, but not Socialist,
    Left Central Illinois.
     
    Drago likes this.
  11. Edwardoka

    Edwardoka Facetious Remark Generator

    Dear Centrist's Centrist,

    No, he's only interested in breaking walls down, not building them. It says so when he arrives at a venue

    Kind regards
    "Mildly Tepid" Steve Houston, The Texas Boneshaker
     
    Last edited: 4 Dec 2018
    Drago likes this.
  12. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Dear Che,

    The words Democrat and Liberal are code speak for freedom hating baby eating communists. Beware the red menace!

    Regards,

    Drago McCarthy.
     
    Last edited: 4 Dec 2018
    Edwardoka likes this.
  13. Edwardoka

    Edwardoka Facetious Remark Generator

    Dear Senator McWitchhunt

    I resent the implication that I eat bays. Any fule kno that we freedom hating communists eat capitalists

    Kind regards
    Polybius Potterick
     
    raleighnut, classic33 and Drago like this.
  14. OP
    OP
    Drago

    Drago Guru

    Location:
    Poshamptonshire.
    Dear Ho Chin Min,

    Please stick to every day problems with stubborn stains (unless the stubborn stain is on a red flag) ;)

    Regards,

    Drago the Redneck.
     
    Threevok likes this.
  15. classic33 likes this.
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