Uncle Drago's agony column

[Drago]

Dear Rodeo,

Fake your own death to make her love you. What could possibly go wrong?

Love,

Drago.

 

[classic33]

Dear Rodeo,

Fake your own death to make her love you. What could possibly go wrong?

Love,

Drago.

Dear Uncle Drago

Someone may poison my drink.

Gentleman Romeo
Gallicano Nel Lazio

 

[Drago]

Dear Ronnie,

Best to take the antidote to every known poison before you go to the pub.

Regards,

Drago.

 

[Archie_tect]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I have just started work manning the reception desk of a large office building.

It's very easy work but I'm aware of a constant ringing in my ears.... it's starting to worry me, should I get my hearing checked?

Chief Constable Ian McArthur [retired]

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Dear Uncle Drago

Some ladies have been promoted above the glass ceiling at work. Quite rightly in this day and age of equal opportunities . Unfortunately they are still wearing skirts. Where should I look?

Goggle Eyed of Lower Management

 

[Drago]

Dear Uncle Drago,

I have just started work manning the reception desk of a large office building.

It's very easy work but I'm aware of a constant ringing in my ears.... it's starting to worry me, should I get my hearing checked?

Chief Constable Ian McArthur [retired]

Dear Lan,

Get yourself promoted as quickly as possible. You'll soon lose contact with reality, and all with be quiet and peaceful.

 

[Drago]

Dear Uncle Drago

Some ladies have been promoted above the glass ceiling at work. Quite rightly in this day and age of equal opportunities . Unfortunately they are still wearing skirts. Where should I look?

Goggle Eyed of Lower Management

Dear filthy pervert,

I presume you are on the floor below? Please send me the address immediately so I can come and examine the problem first hand. I'll also need some privacy.

 

[classic33]

Dear Uncle Drago,

Money is really tight at the moment, due to the credit crunch, and I was hoping you could offer me some tips to save money.

Once I've paid my Sky subscription, stocked up on fags, and paid for my 20 lines on the National Lottery, there’s barely any cash left for other essentials, like the weekly payments on my plasma TV.

M.T. Pockets,
Maidenhead

 

[Drago]

Dear Pockets,

This really is a tricky one, and you have my sympathy. I start byncuttong down on the non essentials - more more food for the kids, or make up for the wife. If the wife doesn't look good without the make up then you can switch off the light when making love, those saving more money as well.

 

[twentysix by twentyfive]

Please send me the address immediately so I can come and examine the problem first hand.

The Basement
High Glass Towers
Belle Vue
2C 2Much

 

[Paulus]

Dear Uncle Drago,
I have six bikes in the shed ranging in years from 46 years old to six months, and all have differing uses. I have the hankering for yet another. How can I avoid the temptation?

 

[Archie_tect]

Dear Uncle Drago,

My wife told me I don't listen to her anymore. At least I think that's what she said.

Yours,
Aaron C. Rescu

 

[Drago]

Dear Uncle Drago,
I have six bikes in the shed ranging in years from 46 years old to six months, and all have differing uses. I have the hankering for yet another. How can I avoid the temptation?

Dear Pauline,

Make sure your next bike is from Sports direct. Not only will it cost a mere £29.99, it'll put you off buying another new bike ever again.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Dear Pauline,

Make sure your next bike is from Sports direct. Not only will it cost a mere £29.99, it'll put you off buying another new bike ever again.

I'd not come across Sports Direct before so I had a look.

It's possibly the only thing that is so depressing writing coursework seems more enjoyable, so thanks Uncle Drago...

 

[Mugshot]

Dear filthy pervert,

I presume you are on the floor below? Please send me the address immediately so I can come and examine the problem first hand. I'll also need some privacy.

He's just saying what we're all thinking