What is the weirdest heckle you've had while cycling ?

[Podiumcycles]

I have twice had the passenger of a white van shout out to me 'Your wheels are spinning'. Not sure what they meant but they seemed to find it highly amusing both times. Unfortunately the blatentcy of the shout stunned me to silence both times.

 

[ufkacbln]

Cycling into Gosport on the Brompton I slowed down as a young cyclist wobbled along.

As he stopped, and I passed the "little darling" came out with

"Look Mummy - his wheels are even smaller than mine!"

 

[Booyaa]

I was passing down through Worsthorn near Burnley,when a rather rotund young fellow of about 14 called out "We know your gay". (I`m not by the way,but did look fine in summer Sunday kit)
So quick as a flash,reaching into my vast catalogue of witty comebacks,selected this one.
"Shut up you fat c***!" Now I didn`t look back to see how appreciative of my responce he was but I`m sure he looked something like this

That made me laugh out loud on the train. Well done.

 

[Cycling Dan]

Nice bike (oh thanks) You prick ( )
From a mini passenger

 

[HLaB]

On a forum ride @Seamab and me were heading through a town when these two neds shouted Fat Fecks at us. Seamab's as skinny as a rake and I'm not big either we were both very confused It was only when I got home I realised what they were shouting, the name of the local football team 'Falkirk'

 

[Chris-H]

I was cycling along Bedford embankment on the shared cycle path and as I approached a lardy chavvy scruffy git who must've been in he's late 30's early 40's and was clearly trying to impress the 14-15 year old girls who were with him he shouted at me to "get on the f***ing road", the girls looked suitable impressed with he's rather intelligent heckle until I responded " get on the f***ing treadmill" to which they found extremely amusing

 

[raised by puffins]

Where did you get your spokes from?
- your mum
Oi, she's dead
- oh, sorry mate.

Yes, nobody won that, I reached too far. Maybe instead of trying to reclaim power I should have instead met him half way and offered him a bemused shrug. But imagine if Wellington had just shrugged at all the 'bon spokes' taunts at his field guns by the French Imperial Army: we wouldn't have had a decade of Abba and they were brilliant.

 

[helston90]

A fairly appropriate one I had the other day was 'your wheel is about to come off', problem was I was on my pub bike for the 25 mile commute as my proper bike was in the LBS so it really wouldn't have suprised me if that had actually happened.
Turned out he was just messing- the little tike!

 

[Gravity Aided]

I got a "No fair pedaling on the downhills" from a lady on a Cannondale racing bicycle out in the country the other day. Then we talked about my odd-looking bicycle(Electra Townie 21d) for about 5 minutes, riding along. I do not know if it counts as heckling when a conversation breaks out.

 

[Melonfish]

once during a particularly heavy downpoor
"its raining" says the passenger of a mini.
"yes, yes it is" was my only reply.

 

[Supersuperleeds]

I have twice had the passenger of a white van shout out to me 'Your wheels are spinning'. Not sure what they meant but they seemed to find it highly amusing both times. Unfortunately the blatentcy of the shout stunned me to silence both times.

I had a lad on a bike shout that to me, my response was "so are yours" I got a "Eh?" back from the stupid little ******

 

[cosmicbike]

Not one of mine, and I'm sure it came from someone on here linking to a youtube vid

"Oi mate, your wheels are going round!"

"So's your girlfriend" was the response.....

 

[fossyant]

Hmm, I need to think of something. My stock response isn't nice !

 

[MisterStan]

Driver of a Porsche Boxster - Can't you afford a car?
Me - Can't you afford a proper Porsche?

 

[steveindenmark]

A couple of weeks ago I passed a lycra clad MTBer covered in mud going up a steep hill. I cruised by him drinking out of my waterbottle. I was wearing jeans and overcoat.

I left him well behind as he struggled. A couple of miles later I stopped to buy eggs and he passed by, giving me that bastaxd look. I followed him and passed him without effort. I slowed right down asI came to my turn and as he passed, looking knackered, he did a treble check of me and called me a "cheating bastaxd".

I always use my Electric bike in Winter. :0)



Steve