What's the naughtiest thing you have ever done?

[jefmcg]

Strangely, I don't remember my own

OK, I do remember some of my own, but I don't want to compete with @User, because he will win.

But ping me if there is ever a thread about the weirdest place** you have had sex, and I may join in.

** "that would be up the butt, bob"

 

[slowmotion]

OK, I do remember some of my own, but I don't want to compete with @User, because he will win.

But ping me if there is ever a thread about the weirdest place** you have had sex, and I may join in.

** "that would be up the butt, bob"

Could you give us all a few minutes to go out and score some Mind Bleach before you start posting?

 

[Welsh wheels]

Do you still pee your pants?

Now you're just taking the piss

 

[MarkF]

As a family we drove down to Leicester to see my relatives, I was about 9. As dinner was being cooked by my Auntie Sheila I smelt the smell, sprouts! I loathe brussel sprouts, just the smell makes me retch, I went into a panic , but my father told me to shut up and eat them ..............or else. They were served on my plate, a mountain of them, no way was I eating them, I lobbed a few off into my lap and folded them in napkin, then pushed them down the back of the radiator behind me. Then I asked for another napkin........and did the same again, I got rid of them all like that. I can remember my father saying something like "That wasn't too bad was it"?

I can also remember a phone call few days later.

 

[Welsh wheels]

As a family we drove down to Leicester to see my relatives, I was about 9. As dinner was being cooked by my Auntie Sheila I smelt the smell, sprouts! I loathe brussel sprouts, just the smell makes me retch, I went into a panic , but my father told me to shut up and eat them ..............or else. They were served on my plate, a mountain of them, no way was I eating them, I lobbed a few off into my lap and folded them in napkin, then pushed them down the back off the radiator behind me. Then I asked for another napkin........and did the same again, I got rid of them all like that. I can remember my father saying something like "That wasn't too bad was it"?.

I can also remember a phone call few days later.

I can sympathise. I hate sprouts and would consider hiding them as an adult!

 

[Welsh wheels]

I once peed in a field of wheat

 

[smutchin]

Remember going to parties when I was 15/16 and taking cider with me.

Reminds me of when I was 15, going to the school disco with a bidon containing a cocktail of small amounts from every bottle in my parents' drinks cabinet - a small enough quantity from each not to be noticeable. My mate did the same and we met up before the disco to get pissed.

The really naughty thing was then walking straight past the desk at the entrance to the school hall without paying my £2.

 

[slowmotion]

I once peed in a field of wheat

I once weed in a field of peat

 

[Drago]

As a kid the devil possessed my being during an environmental studies lesson and I pushed the teacher into a ditch.

The law of omerta kicked in and the class remained silent. So, my belated apologies to class 3X and Mr Tilley.

I also sabotaged a machine the physics teacher had spent ages making at home to demonstrate pulleys. I undid the G clamp and as he pulled the string it fell on the floor and smashed, leaving him holding the string and looking distraught.

Mr Underwood, I'm very sorry.

And we may have done something to another teachers motor vehicle, and I'm saying not a word more than that.

Sorry Mr Delaney, but you picked the wrong person to throw a board rubber at.

 

[slowmotion]

I watched somebody having sex in a graveyard.

Can I put you in touch with Michael O'Leary?

http://metro.co.uk/2017/06/10/coupl...-flight-while-cabin-crew-did-nothing-6699498/

 

[perplexed]

I did the same thing with a 99p hose connector at B&Q a couple of weeks ago. I'm wracked with guilt.

I'll see your hose connector and raise you a spade.

Bought a couple of grands worth of stuff at a DIY superstore many years ago (it's not there anymore) and it was only ages after that I realised I hadn't been charged for said spade...

 

[perplexed]

We weren't having sex.... just a quick fumble

Yeah, similar with us.

It was a regular meet up spot and I always muttered a quick apology to Hilda D who was laying in a slightly more permanent state next to us...

 

[PaulB]

I once failed to wave/nod at another cyclist.

Then there was the time I washed my denim shirt and jeans with fabric conditioner then went out wearing them both together.

THEIR SHOULD BE PRISONS BULT FOR PEEPLE LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!±!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pubrunner]

In my early days at the pub in 1981, I found an almost full 11 gallon keg of cider in the cellar. It was still connected up, but as it dated back to 1977, it was way beyond any sell-by date. I connected up a large industrial container full of water to the pipe - to flush out the cider; after this, my intention was to run cleaner through and then put yet more water through to flush out the residue.

I turned on the tap and the aged cider flowed into a jug. It was crystal clear and had the aroma of fresh apples; tentatively, I tasted it - fantastic! . I can't remember which cider it was - probably Woodpecker or Strongbow, but after a few years of sitting in a cool cellar, it tasted brilliant and was crystal clear.

Curiously, it was 'flat', despite being served with C02 - it tasted just like traditional, natural cider. That night, I advertised 'Special Offer - Scrumpy Cider - only £1 a pint'. We sold all 11 gallons in one night. Surprisingly, no ill-effects or sudden deaths were reported afterwards; indeed, for a few months afterwards, customers would ask if I could get any more of the 'special' scrumpy cider.

 

[Drago]

I was on a drinking binge in 1981. We were in this pub and repeatedly spiked the designated drivers apple juice with this really cheap scrumpy cider.

Poor bloke was found dead on the toilet the next day