when I am prime minister

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BluesDave

Formerly known as DavidDecorator
I would stop all immigration from inside Europe for five years in order to gauage the negative impact of it on the British Building Trades jobs market for British Building Tradesmen and young people. Unless there is not one British worker capable of doing the job they would be coming here to do.
I would encourage the compulsory sterilisation of certain types of people, I know who they are.
I would raze all high rise housing estates to the ground and give people a house with a little garden.
I would guarantee that all jobs on major public projects such as the olympic park and HS2 went to British workers.
I would make sure that what was used by Britain such as planes, trains and automobiles was contracted to British companies for building and upkeep.
But first of all I would re-introduce traditional apprenticeships, call City & Guilds City & Guilds not NVQ, cancel Tuition fees, consult on a way to ensure that Students didn't leave Uni up to their eyeballs in debt for the rest of their lives and try to get degrees back to the value they once used to have in our society.
I would not allow anyone to come here and claim benefits until they had paid tax in this country for a minimum of five years also I would make sure that people born here who had paid into the system were given priority in social housing as I believe it is a scandal that that isn't the case now.
I would send any assylum seekers back to the first safe country they passed through before arriving on our shores simply because under international law you are supposed to claim assylum in the first safe country you come to and it's pretty obvious why they don't.
I would also have all attacks and assaults with an element of racism prosecuted equally regardless of the colour of the skin of the perpetrators.
I would also make damn sure that anyone who lied in a family court was prosecuted for perjury to the full extent of the law in every single instance.:cursing:

Deep Breaths now.
 

ASC1951

Guru
Location
Yorkshire
When I am Prime Minister:
..
3) All Audi and BMW owners will have their cars crushed before their eyes, but will be compensated by being given their own pedal cycle to ride home on.
..
You're going to let the drivers get out?????? :ohmy:
 

Mad Doug Biker

Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
Location
Craggy Island
Monorail!

*facepalm*

Err, a Monorail would have cost 16 Billion. It would be half, wouldn't it?? (although for 32, you could have got double the capacity!!) *facepalm*
Actually, are you referring to the Simpsons episode where everyone is duped into getting a Monorail??
If so then that is a little unfair (except for the price) as sooner or later something needed to be done to releive congestion on the West Coast Mail Line, especially in the Midlands.
To me, with the increase in rail usage once more, something of its ilk would have been innevitable eventually anyway.

A Maglev would still be WAY better though, although, that said, normal trains (i.e. the Virgin Bendylinos) couldn't run on it (or a Monorail) unless you were to build a track in the middle, which would cost even more, therefore defeating the purpose somewhat.

Anyway, I have thought of another:

Ban all helmet debates.
Anyone caught partaking in one will have their head squished like a water melon under the wheels of a very large lorry. Helmet optional.

So there!
 
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