Any good jokes ... ?

[Tribansman]

Just had the police banging on my door demanding to know where I was between 5 and 11. I said I was at primary school.

Must've been a sting operation.

Speaking of which, just seen reports that Sting has been kidnapped! The Police are looking for a lead.

When Sting went solo, he only released B sides

Sting toyed with the idea of calling his band The Wasps - although he always knew he'd be lead stinger. After a mammoth 72 hour session in the studio where he and his band mates resisted a rest, he opted for The Police.

 

[Tribansman]

Why do the Police arrive early at protests?
So they can beat the crowds

 

[Toshiba Boy]

Can't believe some people still believe the moon landings were faked.

 

[PaulB]

Went to a cannibal wedding last weekend. All was going well until they decided to toast the bride and groom.

 

[Chromatic]

The Devon and Cornwall music festival has been cancelled after a row about who was going on first, Cream or The Jam.

 

[houblon]

View attachment 587281

Can't believe some people still believe the moon landings were faked.

We're all living in Amerika!

 

[bruce1530]

The doctor asked me “Is your urine acidic?"

"I don't understand, what do you mean”

He said “Let me put it simply; does your pee burn?"

I said "I don't know, I've never tried to light it"!

 

[tyred]

 

[tyred]

 

[Cavalol]

I was driving down the motorway today with my wife when she piped up" I think those people in the next car are Welsh" she said. "Why is that?" I asked. "Well the kids are writing on the window... st*t ruoy su wohs".

 

[PaulB]

Why did John Lennon's mum name him after an airport?


Because she knew Paul would get Wings.

 

[PeteXXX]

 

[ClichéGuevara]

 

[Cavalol]

Just won gold at the World Weather Forecasting Championships.

I beat the raining champion.

 

[Dayvo]

Just won gold at the World Weather Forecasting Championships.

I beat the raining champion.

Well done, Sunshine!