A man came home from church with two black eyes. His wife asked him what happened.
"We stood up to sing the first hymn, and a woman in the pew in front of me had her dress tucked into the crease of her butt. I reached over and pulled it out and she turned and hit me."
"Okay, so how did your other eye get blacked," his wife asked.
"Well, we stood up to sing the second hymn, and I figured she must have wanted it there, so I reached over and tucked it back in."