Any good jokes ... ?

Threevok

President of the Not From Brazil party
Location
South Wales
I went to my tailor for some new shirts

The assistant said "Can I show you something in Paisley?"

I replied : "Why ? Don't you have any in this store ?"
 
Q.........whats black and white, and brown on top

A...….A nun with a monk on
 

Kempstonian

Has the memory of a goldfish
Location
Bedford
A lady bought a new Lexus. It cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.

"Madam", said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"

She drives out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said "Nelson".

The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?"

Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of "On the Road Again."

The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.

One day, at a traffic light, the light turned green, and she pulled out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved, and narrowly missed a head-on collision.

"A***HOLE", she shouted.

And, from the radio..."Ladies and gentlemen, Lance Armstrong"
 
If we are doing what do you call a Man/Woman etc jokes.... here's the most surreal one you will read.... EVER


What do call a man who has a bird of prey trained to sit on his right shoulder and a different species of the same on the left shoulder and vacuums up with lights switched off whilst listening to early 80's experimental electro-pop.....

Don't normally do spoilers.... but I thought I'd let you try to work it out before you read the punchline


Hawk Kestrel Man Hoovers in The Dark
 
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Threevok

President of the Not From Brazil party
Location
South Wales
If we are doing what do you call a Man/Woman etc jokes.... here's the most surreal one you will read.... EVER


What do call a man who has a bird of prey trained to sit on his right shoulder and a different species of the same on the left shoulder and vacuums up with lights switched off whilst listening to early 80's experimental electro-pop.....

Don't normally do spoilers.... but I thought I'd let you try to work it out before you read the punchline


Hawk Kestrel Man Hoovers in The Dark
:laugh::notworthy:
 
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