Any good jokes ... ?

That's where my bros knowledge ends...…….thank god

 

Get to the back of the boat, the captain said sternly.

 

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I’d like to masturbate in the cup.

I said “Well I’m pretty good but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet”

 

Did you pull out all the stops when you got to the last page?

 

Maybe they could be penne pals

 

and send each other picis?

 

Worried about my fitness, I've just bought a pair of trainers with memory foam

Mainly because I've got so fat- I can't remember what my feet look like

 

Can’t work my wife out, first it ‘Yes, fine, have a tattoo’ and the next she’s moaning about the bagpipers in the garden.

 

My attempts to gain Royal approval for my cat, have once again failed

It never reigns but it paws

 

We aren’t going to see better than that, hat truly doffed.

 

Why did the one-armed monkey fall out of the tree?
Because somebody waved at him.

 

I went to my tailor for some new shirts

The assistant said "Can I show you something in Paisley?"

I replied : "Why ? Don't you have any in this store ?"