Any good jokes ... ?

Page may contain affiliate links. Please see terms for details.

Cavalol

Guru
Location
Chester
My wife found out I was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding.


She was absolutely furious and said she’s never going to play scrabble with me ever again.
 

Cavalol

Guru
Location
Chester
So excited about tonight's RNLI Xmas party.

They really know how to push the boat out.
 

Kempstonian

Has the memory of a goldfish
Location
Bedford
A lady bought a new Lexus. It cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back, complaining that the radio was not working.

"Madam", said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"

She drives out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said "Nelson".

The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?"

Soon, she was speeding down the highway to the sounds of "On the Road Again."

The lady was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.

One day, at a traffic light, the light turned green, and she pulled out. Off to her right, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a small sports utility vehicle speeding toward her. She swerved, and narrowly missed a head-on collision.

"A***HOLE", she shouted.

And, from the radio..."Ladies and gentlemen, Lance Armstrong"
 
If we are doing what do you call a Man/Woman etc jokes.... here's the most surreal one you will read.... EVER


What do call a man who has a bird of prey trained to sit on his right shoulder and a different species of the same on the left shoulder and vacuums up with lights switched off whilst listening to early 80's experimental electro-pop.....

Don't normally do spoilers.... but I thought I'd let you try to work it out before you read the punchline


Hawk Kestrel Man Hoovers in The Dark
 
Last edited:

Threevok

Growing old disgracefully
Location
South Wales
If we are doing what do you call a Man/Woman etc jokes.... here's the most surreal one you will read.... EVER


What do call a man who has a bird of prey trained to sit on his right shoulder and a different species of the same on the left shoulder and vacuums up with lights switched off whilst listening to early 80's experimental electro-pop.....

Don't normally do spoilers.... but I thought I'd let you try to work it out before you read the punchline


Hawk Kestrel Man Hoovers in The Dark

:laugh::notworthy:
 
OP
OP
cisamcgu

cisamcgu

Legendary Member
Location
Merseyside-ish
What do you call a golfer who cuts off one of his limbs and then purchases drugs to build his upper body strength ?


Sever your arm off and buy a steroid :smile:
 
Top Bottom