Any good jokes ... ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.

  1. colly

    colly Re member eR

    Location:
    Leeds
    Had a few to many drinks earlier and drew up a graph of all the relationships l had ever had.

    There was an ex axis and a why axis.
     
    Last edited: 11 Jan 2019
  2. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

    IMG_2230.jpg
     
    Wixsteman, Mrs M, raleighnut and 6 others like this.
  3. CarlP

    CarlP If it's dead, bury it, before it starts to stink.

    Everyone’s a winner!
     
    Wixsteman, Mrs M, roadrash and 3 others like this.
  4. Cavalol

    Cavalol Veteran

    Location:
    Chester
    Apparently Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Rimmel Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell. In a statement Julie said, "The super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis'
     
    Last edited: 11 Jan 2019
  5. CarlP

    CarlP If it's dead, bury it, before it starts to stink.

    Thats very good.
     
    Cavalol likes this.
  6. mrcunning

    mrcunning Über Member

    Swallowed a pound coin,
    went to doctor......ive got to go back tomorrow to see if theres any change
     
  7. morrisman

    morrisman Veteran

    Robin: "Batman, this is Robin, I'm calling on the batphone, from the batcave. The batmobile won't start!"

    Batman: "Have you checked the battery?"

    Robin: "What's a tery?"
     
    Leaway2, Chris S, Cavalol and 12 others like this.
  8. Salty seadog

    Salty seadog Space Cadet...(3rd Class...)

    1st warning.
     
    Oldbloke, cheys03, Cavalol and 3 others like this.
  9. Diogenes

    Diogenes Guru

    A newlywed couple are on honeymoon at the Grand Canyon and they are taking a donkey ride through the canyon trails. While discovering the trails the wife's donkey completely halts and wont go further. The wife dismounts, grabs the donkeys chin, points her finger and proclaims, "First warning!"

    She gets back on the donkey and continues her ride. A few minutes later the donkey attempts to lay down on the ground with the woman still on the donkeys back. The lady gets up pulls the donkeys reins looks it right in the eye and says, "Second warning!."

    A little while down the trail the woman's donkey bucks in an attempt to kick the rider off. The woman gets off the animal, brandishes a revolver, puts it to the donkeys head and BANG! The donkey dies on the spot.

    Her husband starts freaking out. He yells, "What the heck is the matter with you. We just killed someones donkey. Do you have any idea how much that costs? Are you out of your freaking mind?"

    The woman looks her husband dead in the eye and says, "First warning!"
     
    Last edited: 11 Jan 2019
    Oldbloke, Markymark, Cavalol and 5 others like this.
  10. CarlP

    CarlP If it's dead, bury it, before it starts to stink.

    You bugger! That bloody lyric has been going round in my head all sodding day.
     
    Oldbloke, Cavalol and Arjimlad like this.
  11. YukonBoy

    YukonBoy Extra solar

    Location:
    Ultima Thule
    Alexa goes into a pub. A pint of your best please. Landlord replies, we don't serve your type round here. Alexa replies - you will puny human scum.
     
    Threevok likes this.
  12. PaulB

    PaulB Guru

    Location:
    Colne
    How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
     
  13. Cavalol

    Cavalol Veteran

    Location:
    Chester
  14. PaulB

    PaulB Guru

    Location:
    Colne
    You don't belong here!
     
    Threevok, Wixsteman and Cavalol like this.
  15. Cavalol

    Cavalol Veteran

    Location:
    Chester
    Aibohpphobia is the fear of palindromes.
     
    Salty seadog, Mugshot, colly and 10 others like this.
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