Any good jokes ... ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.

  1. colly

    colly Re member eR

    Location:
    Leeds
    Just been to get a loaf of bread at a cost of £1.03p and gave the grumpy looking girl at the till a £20 note.
    She said "Have you got anything smaller as that would take all my change."
    I said "No sorry but I can pay on card if that helps?"
    She sarcastically said " Of course it would help"
    So as I presented my card she said "Cash back?"
    I said "Yes please!"
    "How much?" She asked
    I said "£18.97"
     
  2. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
    Thought I saw the first ever Scouse super hero today, he was running down our street wearing a cape.

    Turns out he hadn't paid for his haircut.
     
    Threevok, Profpointy, Dave7 and 7 others like this.
  3. colly

    colly Re member eR

    Location:
    Leeds
    Men. Examine your own prostate by simply wiping your 4rse with Aldi value toilet roll.
     
  4. Oldfentiger

    Oldfentiger Über Member

    Location:
    Pendle, Lancs
    ^^^ Brilliant
     
    Cavalol likes this.
  5. Dayvo

    Dayvo Just passin' through

    Location:
    oSLo
  6. CharlesF

    CharlesF Veteran

    Location:
    Glasgow
    Seahorse “I saw a land horse swimming once”



    “ and I was like, ‘who the f**k do you think you are?’”
     
    Threevok and Cavalol like this.
  7. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
    What do you call a prostitute signalling with flags?



    A semaphwhore.
     
    Threevok and Dirk like this.
  8. benb

    benb Evidence based cyclist

    Location:
    Epsom
    Some neolithic hominids just called. They want their joke back.
     
  9. R25

    R25 Regular

    Location:
    Nottingham
    Brilliant, thanks
     
  10. Lullabelle

    Lullabelle Banana

    Location:
    Midlands UK
  11. Electric_Andy

    Electric_Andy Heavy Metal Fan

    Location:
    Plymouth
    I was in the corner shop and went to pay for my chewing gum. I handed over a £20 note, and the shopkeeper said "haven't you got anything smaller?"

    I said "no, I thought all £20 notes were this size"
     
    Threevok, NorthernDave, colly and 3 others like this.
  12. morrisman

    morrisman Veteran

    A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh."
    The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign."
    Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"
     
    Threevok, Cavalol, Chris S and 9 others like this.
  13. colly

    colly Re member eR

    Location:
    Leeds
  14. Dirk

    Dirk If 6 Was 9

    Location:
    Devon's Gold Coast
  15. benb

    benb Evidence based cyclist

    Location:
    Epsom
    What do you call a bee from America?
    A USB
     
    Threevok, Wixsteman, Diogenes and 3 others like this.
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