Any good jokes ... ?

Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.

  1. Archie_tect

    Archie_tect De Skieven Architek... aka Penfold

    Location:
    Northumberland
    Boris Johnson.

    Haha....
     
    SpokeyDokey, Cavalol and JtB like this.
  2. roadrash

    roadrash cycle chatterer

    Mrs roadrash had an appointment at the hairdressers this morning, before she left the house she said to me ...I fancy having a different cut for a change, what sort of cut do you think would make me look attractive...…………




    apparently, a power cut wasn't the answer she was looking for...….im sure my bruises will soon fade:B):B):B)
     
  3. Dave7

    Dave7 Guru

    Location:
    Cheshire
    I will borrow that one if I may ^_^
     
    Salty seadog, Cavalol and roadrash like this.
  4. roadrash

    roadrash cycle chatterer

    be my guest, I also borrowed it
     
    Dave7 likes this.
  5. Profpointy

    Profpointy Guru

    Just in case anyone else is confused, you have to click on the image to get the full picture. I wouldn't want anyone to miss out
     
  6. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
  7. CharlesF

    CharlesF Veteran

    Location:
    Glasgow
    Genie: What is your final wish?


    Boy: I wish I were you.


    Genue: weurd but alrught.
     
  8. Cavalol

    Cavalol Guru

    Location:
    Chester
    Home tapping is killing plumbing.
     
    Threevok and Profpointy like this.
  9. Slioch

    Slioch Guru

    Location:
    York
    Little Johnny and his dad are going for a walk in the countryside. As they pass by the railway a train comes along, and Johnny excitedly says "Daddy, look....choo choo".

    Daddy says "Now Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. You're nearly 7 years old and you must start using the grown up names for things. It's not a choo choo, it's a train".

    A bit later on they pass a field of cows, and Johnny says "Daddy look.....moo moos".

    Daddy patiently says "Now Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. You're nearly 7 years old and you must start using the grown up names for things. They're not moo moos, they're cows".

    At bed time daddy comes into little Johnny's room to tuck him in and read him a bed time story. "Now Johnny, what story would you like tonight?".

    Johnny looks thoughtful and thinks for a while, then replies "Winnie The Sh*t".
     
  10. Smokin Joe

    Smokin Joe Legendary Member

    A massive bloke gets on a train, 6'3", shaved head and built like a brick outhouse. He sits at a table seat opposite a pale skinny little fellow about 5'6".


    After a while he says to the little guy, "H-h-h-have you g-g-got the t-t-t-time please?"

    The little guy stares straight ahead and ignores him.

    So again he says, "T-t-t-the time p-p-p-please, can you t-t-t-t-tell me?"

    The little guy looks down at his feet and says nothing.

    So one more time the big fella says, "I-I-I need to k-k-k-know the t-t-t-time, c-c-c-can you t-t-t-tell me?"

    The little guy looks up at the ceiling and says nothing.

    The man in the opposite aisle who has been watching this leans across and says, "It's 10 to 5 my man". So the big guy thanks him profusely and gets off at the next stop. After he's gone he leans across to the little fella and says, "That was a bit rude, wasn't it? The poor man only wanted to know the time and you just ignored him."

    The little fella looks across and says, "D-d-d-do you think I wanted t-t-t-to get my f-f-f-f-fecking head k-k-kicked in"?
     
    Threevok, Cavalol, Crackle and 7 others like this.
  11. CharlesF

    CharlesF Veteran

    Location:
    Glasgow
    Friend: It’s called cauliflower. It’s not ghost broccoli.

    Me: (Taking a drag from my cigarette) Listen kid, I know what I saw.
     
    Threevok, Cavalol, Oldbloke and 3 others like this.
  12. colly

    colly Re member eR

    Location:
    Leeds
    South Korea has passed a new law requiring all dogs to be chipped.

    Seems a bit harsh to me.
     
  13. benb

    benb Evidence based cyclist

    Location:
    Epsom
    Korean meatballs: they really are the dog's bollocks.
     
  14. betty swollocks

    betty swollocks large member

  15. Smokin Joe

    Smokin Joe Legendary Member

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