Discussion in 'CycleChat Cafe' started by cisamcgu, 31 May 2011.
Mrs roadrash had an appointment at the hairdressers this morning, before she left the house she said to me ...I fancy having a different cut for a change, what sort of cut do you think would make me look attractive...…………
apparently, a power cut wasn't the answer she was looking for...….im sure my bruises will soon fade
I will borrow that one if I may
be my guest, I also borrowed it
Just in case anyone else is confused, you have to click on the image to get the full picture. I wouldn't want anyone to miss out
Genie: What is your final wish?
Boy: I wish I were you.
Genue: weurd but alrught.
Home tapping is killing plumbing.
Little Johnny and his dad are going for a walk in the countryside. As they pass by the railway a train comes along, and Johnny excitedly says "Daddy, look....choo choo".
Daddy says "Now Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. You're nearly 7 years old and you must start using the grown up names for things. It's not a choo choo, it's a train".
A bit later on they pass a field of cows, and Johnny says "Daddy look.....moo moos".
Daddy patiently says "Now Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you. You're nearly 7 years old and you must start using the grown up names for things. They're not moo moos, they're cows".
At bed time daddy comes into little Johnny's room to tuck him in and read him a bed time story. "Now Johnny, what story would you like tonight?".
Johnny looks thoughtful and thinks for a while, then replies "Winnie The Sh*t".
A massive bloke gets on a train, 6'3", shaved head and built like a brick outhouse. He sits at a table seat opposite a pale skinny little fellow about 5'6".
After a while he says to the little guy, "H-h-h-have you g-g-got the t-t-t-time please?"
The little guy stares straight ahead and ignores him.
So again he says, "T-t-t-the time p-p-p-please, can you t-t-t-t-tell me?"
The little guy looks down at his feet and says nothing.
So one more time the big fella says, "I-I-I need to k-k-k-know the t-t-t-time, c-c-c-can you t-t-t-tell me?"
The little guy looks up at the ceiling and says nothing.
The man in the opposite aisle who has been watching this leans across and says, "It's 10 to 5 my man". So the big guy thanks him profusely and gets off at the next stop. After he's gone he leans across to the little fella and says, "That was a bit rude, wasn't it? The poor man only wanted to know the time and you just ignored him."
The little fella looks across and says, "D-d-d-do you think I wanted t-t-t-to get my f-f-f-f-fecking head k-k-kicked in"?
Friend: It’s called cauliflower. It’s not ghost broccoli.
Me: (Taking a drag from my cigarette) Listen kid, I know what I saw.
South Korea has passed a new law requiring all dogs to be chipped.
Seems a bit harsh to me.
Korean meatballs: they really are the dog's bollocks.
Separate names with a comma.