Bruised dongle

[Venod]

9

Aparently the patient wasn't quite in the company of who who he should have been at the time.of the unfortunate incident so it was all a bit sticky

FTFY

 

[smutchin]

it seems that clip was from.BBC America

I did wonder about that. Although ironically I think it only makes it funnier.

 

[slowmotion]

When my sister was a medical student, she would drunkenly educate me about some of the more exotic afflictions that can befall us. One of them was gangrene of the penis. Go and see a doctor.

BEWARE! This contains images that some viewers may find disturbing.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2890137/

 

[gaijintendo]

Winkle, Wiggy, Percy, Shaft, Cock, Knob, John Thomas, I have heard but never dongle in relation to a Penis, but as you say it's yours so call it what you want.

This post ruined Trumpton for me.

No wait, the US President snuck in there subconsciously, it seems.

 

[pawl]

I fell off my bike last night whilst on the towpath, I pitched over the bars and a bar end caught me right in the groin, it hurt. When I got home I had a check and my dongle is very badly bruised, black, it's like a ring tailed lemur.

I haven't been to the doctors in over 30 years but it doesn't look good......................I am going into work soon but don't want to go to the A&E dept as I know what will happen, one nurse will have a look and then get another nurse to have a look and before long every bleedin nurse will have had a look. Then the porters will find out.

Hoping it will be purple by tonight.

I know it’s difficult to get appointments but 30 years is ridiculous.

 

[Andrew_P]

Phew quite relieved it wasn't Mark's WiFi that got bruised

Amazed Mark has not seen a Dr for 30 years considering he works in a hospital.

 

[winjim]

Watch Adam Kay's podcast* with Richard Herring. Understand the meaning of the term 'degloving' and how it relates to the penis. You will never again worry about a little bruising. You will also never want to slide down a lamppost...

*or read the book he's plugging I guess.


Edit: Here you go. Degloving story's at about 17mins but the whole thing's worth a watch if you enjoy disgusting anecdotes.

 

[Dave7]

I once fractured mine in 5 places. Fortunately the last eight inches still worked fine though

 

[lazybloke]

I fell off my bike last night whilst on the towpath, I pitched over the bars and a bar end caught me right in the groin, it hurt. When I got home I had a check and my dongle is very badly bruised, black, it's like a ring tailed lemur.

I haven't been to the doctors in over 30 years but it doesn't look good......................I am going into work soon but don't want to go to the A&E dept as I know what will happen, one nurse will have a look and then get another nurse to have a look and before long every bleedin nurse will have had a look. Then the porters will find out.

Hoping it will be purple by tonight.

Has it fallen off yet?

 

[BSOh]

I can't believe I've checked this thread, interested in how the dongle is getting on!!  I need to go and have a wash GWS!

 

[Richard A Thackeray]

I talked to a staff nurse, after swearing her to secrecy, and she said it should show significant improvement by day 3 but it'd be better if she looked at it. Ha ha! Fat chance,

I often work in A&E & the whole unit would be sniggering within minutes. I've never heard the word "penis" in there it's always another of two words with a letter less.................I will know within seconds of arriving at work on Monday if the staff nurse is a woman of her word.

If they're anything like our AE Nursing staff..................................

Like you, I have a few I trust, but only a few................................
Conversely, if I repeated verbatim, what I heard in the staff-room, from Nurses, about other Nurse/Doctors, there'd be a civil war in the department
Hence the ones I trust, because they trust me

 

[MarkF]

Has it fallen off yet?

Nope, no improvement but no deterioration that I can see. Had a canal cycle today in the sun, 20 miles or so, no issues. It looks horrible though, still black.

 

[I like Skol]

@MarkF if you are still suffering perhaps I can send you some of my painkillers.

These should help?

 

[MarkF]

There is the start of some dark purple at the outer edges, not exactly the day 3 significant improvement I was hoping for. Hope to be able to provide a definitive cyclists bruised dongle recovery timescale later on in the week.

 

[mjr]

Have you fixed those bar ends so you can't repeat the incident, then?