daftest thing you have done regarding cycling

[Bicycle]

When a student, I had a 'timed run' home from Bloomsbury to Holland Park. Always flat out, always maximum attack and never any quarter offered to other traffic. Shoulders over the bars and jaw clenched. Really silly stuff...

It included riding under the barrier of the Senate House car park by swinging my leg over the cross bar and crouching next to the frame as I passed while resting on one pedal... The bike just fitted, but not with me on top.

It was often a very scary ride and involved all sorts of heavy-traffic silliness that I wouldn't do now that I'm middle-aged.

Lots of hoiking the bike around and jumping it over things and locking the rear to turn the bike more quickly. Occasionally using my sole to bounce myself off street furniture.

When I got home after one 'full on' ride, I lifted the bike by the crossbar to carry it into our basement and the front wheel stayed in the gutter, just sort of wobbling. I nearly had a heart attack.

These days I ride less aggressively and always check QRs and other gubbins before setting off.

No comments please on my admission of dreadful riding; I no longer do that.

 

[Cyclopathic]

Possibly the daftest thing I did was one new years eve a long time ago when I used my hefty raleigh mustang to get to various parties with my girlfriend at the time riding side saddle on the crossbar, sorry top tube. I was definitely over the drink drive limit and didn't have any lights so I only rode on the pavements. Despite a couple of spills (mostly when I stopped and just sort of toppled over) I managed not to kill or seriously injure anyone.
I hasten to add that it was a long time ago and that I do not condone drinking and riding and that I think my actions were quite stupid. Feel free to berate me as you wish but please know that I know it was stupid. My only mittigation being that I made sure I kept off the roads.
I would also add a cautionary note and tell anybody who cares to know that drinking affects your cycling balance a few drinks before it affects your walking.

 

[guitarpete247]

Many years ago (mid 70's [not my age the decade] ), a mate and I went to Bridlington for the night. I had the tent, cooker, sleeping bag and my gear on my bike as I had the rack. He had not much more than a carrier bags worth of clean clothes and toothbrush and sleeping bag (he'd tried to give me that too). Coming back we were coming down Market Weighton Hill (here). I got a fair lick on with the extra weight when I got a fly in my eye. It hurt so much and what with trying to concentrate on keeping the bike straight I couldn't work out which eye it was in so I closed both eyes, squeezed the brakes and hoped. I don't know how but I stayed in a straight line and stopped safely.

Eventually we got home and after dropping our stuff off at home we met up at the pub. My mate came in walking like John Wayne and announced to pub "I've just been camping with Pete and my arse is sore". He did explain what he meant after much spraying of beer etc.

 

[coffeejo]

Following the conversation I just had with the bike shop, I'm gonna confess to not looking after the chain properly. Ok, it's done just under 2,500 miles but that doesn't excuse the need to replace the cassette as well. Expensive mistake and since being a novice isn't a good enough excuse, I'll be blushing about it for a while to come. And tending to the new one with much more care.

 

[CopperCyclist]

Following the conversation I just had with the bike shop, I'm gonna confess to not looking after the chain properly. Ok, it's done just under 2,500 miles but that doesn't excuse the need to replace the cassette as well. Expensive mistake and since being a novice isn't a good enough excuse, I'll be blushing about it for a while to come. And tending to the new one with much more care.

Tell me more - what should you have done that you didn't, so I can try not to repeat your mistake!

 

[mr messy]

Only really took up cycling this year so last winter was eventfull.

Front light died on commute home in the freezing conditions. Decided to take to the footpath and almost knocked down 2 invisible pedestrians as road was unlit. Whilst thinking that was a lucky near miss rode straight into a road sign!

On commute to work approached traffic lights which had green man showing. Confidently coasted to the front for a quick RLJ gettaway and promptly hit black ice. Bike folded under me with about 20 cars looking on!

The temp had dropped to -15 so had fleece, hat, the full works on and hadn't shaved in weeks. Again front wheel folded and hit the deck. Luckily there was plenty of powdery snow to cushion the fall. Lay looking at the stars for a minute before getting up at which point noticed wifey staring at me. With all the snow clinging to my fleece and hat i looked like an alky tramp snowman!!!

Played "chicken" with a guy in a range rover because i had right of way

Cut up (inc copious usage of flowery language) a guy in a volvo estate at a mini roundabout again because had right of way.

Riding a downhill footpath shortcut (for a month) with wornout brakes in the knowledge there's a road at the bottom and having to grab the lamppost to stop if there was traffic. Couldn't be arsed to get new blocks, was cold out. lol

With the benefit of hindsight all situations were easily avoidable with use of a little common sense.

Unfortunately common sense!?! Where's the sense of adventure in that!?

 

[earth]

I've got two daftest things:

1. As a kid, kicking my front wheel while riding along and getting my foot stuck in the spokes. Wheel rotated and jammed my foot against the fork. Over the handle bars, clonked on the back of the head head by the bike then on the forehead by the road.

2. Almost chopping the end of my finger off in my fixie chain at the beginning of this year.

 

[zacklaws]

I kept trying to adjust my sunglasses on one ride as they seemed to keep slipping down my nose, eventually I was going fast downhill and got sick off my eyes watering, so once again tried to adjust my glasses, hit a small bump and poked myself in the eye, at that point I realised I had forgot to put them on to start with.

 

[coffeejo]

Tell me more - what should you have done that you didn't, so I can try not to repeat your mistake!

Ahem. Clean and lube regularly. As in, clean properly not "that'll do"...

 

[Lee]

Went and locked my bike up nice and secure via the frame and came out to one wheel

well angry as i'd just bought a new Mavic rim as well the same week.

This was back in the day when i was wet behind the ears!

 

[Dave the Smeghead]

When I was a paperboy of about 13 I had the largest round from the shop which happened to include 2 of the biggest hills in the town. One wet morning with a full paperbag I came down one of the hills at a good speed. That was when I realised I couldn't stop (wet brakes and not in the best condition any way). Fortunately there was a rubbish truck (dust cart as we called them then) at the bottom of the hill. I hit it and flipped into the back of the dust cart, along with the bike, which then pulled away and drove to the next part of their route, about half a mile away from the hill. The dustmen were more than a little surprised to find me and my bike with a buckled front wheel in the back of the truck when they came round the back.

 

[Bay Runner]

Back in the seventies a Royal Navy tradition was to get called round your oppo’s (friend’s) ship for a DTS (Dinner Time Session). This involved drinking many tins of his ale, eventually burbling like a Senior Gibraltarian Rock Ape.

The problem was, I cycled home through Devonport Dockyard afterwards, which is riddled with railway tracks criss crossing the roads and caissons, which had wet wooden surfaces with a 40 – 50 drop into a dry dock on one side and manky cold water on the other side.

I must have made it home ok, as woke up later on the sofa with a head like Birkenhead. The front door still open, my bike lying in the front garden, needless to say my wife was not impressed when she arrived home from work.

 

[jhawk]

Packing too much into crappy panniers on the rear of my bike... Everything went wrong. I packed up from the shops, FULL of shopping - heavy tins, bottles of fizzy drinks, etc... I also carried another plastic shopping bag on my handlebars...

Getting out of the car park was the first chore. The bike was WAY too heavy, I swung my leg over the saddle... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP... That was my summer shorts ripping. So, I began to cycle home... Arse flapping in the wind...

Five minutes from home, the zips connecting my two panniers to a central carrying handle gave way under the weight... One fell off, I got off the bike, heaving a heavy backpack (which was also full)... Picked up the pannier, set it down, at that point, the bag that I was carrying on the handlebars bottomed out. Three bottles of Coke and tins of stuff and other groceries tumbled to the ground... I collected everything from the road, sat down the grass - again, underwear in full view, and began to think.

"How the hell am I going to get all this home?" People in the cars passing must have been pissing themselves.

Thankfully, two minutes of anguish later, a friend of mine showed up in his car.

"What the feck happened to you?"

"Long story mate. Give us a lift?" He swung round and picked me up, taking my panniers in the backseat of his car. I was free to cycle home, sans dignity... That was a terrible afternoon. I've since invested in a new bike, and better panniers.

 

[SHornswaggle]

Packing too much into crappy panniers on the rear of my bike... Everything went wrong. I packed up from the shops, FULL of shopping - heavy tins, bottles of fizzy drinks, etc... I also carried another plastic shopping bag on my handlebars...

Getting out of the car park was the first chore. The bike was WAY too heavy, I swung my leg over the saddle... RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIP... That was my summer shorts ripping. So, I began to cycle home... Arse flapping in the wind...

Five minutes from home, the zips connecting my two panniers to a central carrying handle gave way under the weight... One fell off, I got off the bike, heaving a heavy backpack (which was also full)... Picked up the pannier, set it down, at that point, the bag that I was carrying on the handlebars bottomed out. Three bottles of Coke and tins of stuff and other groceries tumbled to the ground... I collected everything from the road, sat down the grass - again, underwear in full view, and began to think.

"How the hell am I going to get all this home?" People in the cars passing must have been ****ing themselves.

Thankfully, two minutes of anguish later, a friend of mine showed up in his car.

"What the feck happened to you?"

"Long story mate. Give us a lift?" He swung round and picked me up, taking my panniers in the backseat of his car. I was free to cycle home, sans dignity... That was a terrible afternoon. I've since invested in a new bike, and better panniers.

That has made me properly laugh - I have tears in my eyes!!! Brilliant!!!

 

[TheDoctor]

Not me, but a friend...
We exited the Dun Cow in a state of extreme refreshment, and he carefully stood his bike up and jumped towards the saddle. Missed by a mile, and landed in a heap on the other side of the bike, which then fell on him. And I nearly dislocated my lungs laughing.
I have tried carrying 144 bottles of beer on a bike, together with 6 bottles of wine. The handling was...interesting. I discovered some hills in Calais that day that I hadn't noticed before.
Oh, and another time I came out of the pub (it's funny how these are all beer-related) and swung my leg through the frame to set off. It was then I discovered that I wasn't on the bike with a step-through frame. And that falling on gravel hurts even if you're not moving