But just to be a little serious & without trying to slide into the dark side of the forum, the issue with Undertakers over the past 10-15 years is that the US venture capitalists have realised there is good money to be made out of other people's grief, they have come in, bought up as many independents that they could, then they have manipulated the cost upwards to their benefit.
Does the quality of coffin matter?
Do you really need cars?
Flowers? Maybe a display on the coffin, but if they want to buy flowers tell them to give to a charity of your choice.
Wake, doesn't have to be a posh affair, a backroom with tea/coffee, sandwiches & a few cakes, if it's a pub, nothing behind the bar if they want anything it's up to buy that's up to them.
At the end of the day it's what you & your wife want(ed), if it upsets the distant relative, tough, they'll get over it, if they don't you're probably better off.