Give me some dialogue from your day

[EltonFrog]

Old Person 1. I think we should all go on the Watercress Line in June.

Old Person 2. I've been on the Watercress Line a few times with my other club, don't want to do it again.

Some old People. I agree, we've done that, lets do something else...blah..blah..

Old Person 1. yeah, but they've made it longer now, it's better...

Old Person 3. They haven't made it longer...they've just moved the bridges further apart....!

 

[bruce1530]

In the coffee/sandwich shop. All of the staff were wearing blue disposable gloves.

“Gloves? That’s new. Cos of Coronavirus?"

“Yeah, we’ve all got to wear them. it’s the new rules”.

“Yours has got a hole at the end of your finger"

“Yeah, if we don’t do that, the touch screen tills don’t work."

 

[gbb]

I was working on a broken down packing machine, easy diagnosis, straightforward mechanics to rectify albeit very fiddly and awkward for access. Nevertheless I was enjoying it.
Me to the operator ...
'I love my job when its like this '
Two minutes later as I dropped a bolt for the third time trying to get it into an impossibly tight space....
'FFS, who the (expletive deleted) hell designed this piece of (expletive deleted)' i uttered explosively.

Machine op spun round...


Me...'sorry ' then continued...
'I still love my job though'

 

[Andy in Germany]

Two recent conversations witt Beautiful daughter (5):

BD: (Looking at a picture of a fairly new locomotive cab interior) Ooooo, that's really nice...
AinG: What do you like about it?
BD: It looks really new and nice, I want to go and ride in one.
AinG: (Trying to stike a blow for equality) Maybe you could become a train driver and drive it one day.
BD: No, I won't want to do that.
AnG: What would you like to do?
BD: I want to be a dance teacher...

Ah, well...

And yesterday, at a local farm that has a large rabbit pen outside:

BD: Oh look the rabbits are outside.
AinG: Can you count them? How many can you see?
BD: Look, there's one running by the fence... And look, one is sleeping in the sun, that's two...
AinG: Well done.
BD: (Looking critically at #2 bunny) Although, that one could be dead...

(Turns out it was breathing after all...)

 

[Maverick Goose]

Passed one of the peeps from work in town yesterday:
"How are you keeping?"
"At least two metres away from you hahaha"...

 

[Threevok]

Mrs V : Did you ring?

Me: Sorry, I "arse dialed" you. Would you like to speak to it ?

Mrs V : "*click*"

 

[gbb]

A chat with our neighbour over the fence, we can't even see each other....6ft fence..
Linda..
'I see the soaps aren't on as much '
My wife..
' it's the coronavirus, they're not recording so many episodes'
Me...
'Every cloud eh ?'

 

[Rezillo]

On phone to former CC member. He has a large well-equipped shed with a range of industrial equipment. He recently acquired another lathe and a set of computer-controlled engraving equipment, needing some attention.

Me: How's social isolation going?

Him: I haven't noticed any difference.

 

[anothersam]

“Are you all right? Do you have everything you need?” – cyclist passing me yesterday as I was preparing to put an emergency boot into a Conti GP5000 with a blown sidewall.

 

[Old jon]

The ride is posted in My Ride Today, edited, it is here https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/your-ride-today.173254/post-5933532
and this brief conversation did not seem to fit the ride report. As I neared Thwaite’s Mill I could see the shop and ticket office in front of me. A man was standing near the entrance. I reached the gates, which were locked. Stopped, and remembered I should have turned right a hundred yards before. This is a situation where my fake Yorkshire accent emerges.

Me: ‘eck, Ah’m art of me reckning, shudda crossed t’bridge back theer

Him: Aye lad, tha shud, an left afta.

After crossing the bridge, it just occurred to me, neither of us found it odd to talk that way and we understood each other perfectly. And, while I am here, t’bridge. The ‘t’ is not sounded, it is a dipthong or an inflection, almost a hiccup.

 

[Threevok]

Man in Garage pointing to my buff...

"That won't protect you from the virus"

To which I replied...

"I know, but I'm hoping it won't recognise me"

 

[gbb]

As I rode up through an urban feeder road yesterday, a pedestrian and his dog stood ahead, waiting to cross, as a Mini Cooper came hurtling up the road, far in excess of the speed limit. He gestured to it 'slow down', driver backed off then started accelerating again...and off into the distance.
As I rode alongside the guy he rolled his eyes and I said as I passed..
'I know, you can only hope he will get his in the end'

 

[Houthakker]

Went out for a local trundle on the MTB yesterday wearing a pair of shorts, vest and some old battered trainers. Mrs H looked at me and said "Are you going out dressed like that? if you have an accident don't expect me to come and visit you in hospital, I'm not owning up to knowing you looking like that" Better stay safe then.

 

[gbb]

As told by my son....
My grandaughter, pushing 4 now stood in her garden, uddenly burst out laughing and said....
'Daddy, daddy, look....a poo cloud'
My son, her dad....
'What ??????'
She pointed skyward, to a fluffy white cloud, shaped like a cartoon poo.

 

[swee'pea99]

Overheard in the woods: "The two things my tutor is always going on about are Breaking Bad, which he reckons is like the Shakespeare of our age, and Kung Fu Panda."