Got fired from my job today.

[Yellow Fang]

Well, I've had a productive day, don't know about you.

 

[TVC]

I lost my job at the dog food factory when it went bust and they brought in the retrievers.

 

[Yellow Fang]

I used to be a cosmetic surgeon, but I made too many boobs.

 

[Speicher]

I used to be a plastic surgeon, but I nearly melted under the very hot lamps.

 

[slowmotion]

I used to be a demolition engineer but the company collapsed.

 

[Yellow Fang]

I used to schedule bus routes for a living, but I was given my P45.

 

[Stig-OT-Dump]

I lost my job as a refuse collector when they told me my work stank.

I tried being a professional dog walker, but it didn't lead anywhere.

My job in the shipyard was riveting at first but that's all under the bridge now.

And then I had a try out at the beauty salon giving massages. Unfortunately I made a bit of a mess there. I don't really think it was my fault though, because they told me to finish off on her face........

 

[Yellow Fang]

I used to be a hit man, but my contract was terminated.

 

[TVC]

I found that my job laying crazy paving was not all it was cracked up to be.

 

[Stig-OT-Dump]

But wasn't your job as a lion tamer a roaring success?
I procrastinated about starting a career as a diver as I wasn't sure if I wanted to take the plunge.

 

[Yellow Fang]

I used to work in a flower shop, but they said I was too lippy.

 

[Yellow Fang]

I used to work for the Guiness book of records, but my time-keeping was poor.

 

[Maverick Goose]

I used to work in a biscuit factory till I went nuts.

 

[tyred]

I used to work in a candle factory but I got snuffed out.

 

[tyred]

I used to work in a dairy but I got cheesed off.