Husband not interested in touring...what have you done in this situation?

[Telemark]

I'm in a very similar situation. My wife used to cycle but has recently put on weight and she has become self-conscious on a bike. She's gone from a size 10 to a size 14 over the years and it bothers her much more than it should. She also has had trouble with her knees and cycling seems to aggravate the problem.
So it's me on my own from now on. The earlier post which stated that being with just one companion on a tour is easier than being with a group is spot-on; fewer people to consider.
It can be annoying when everyone assumes there is an ulterior motive when cycling with a friend who just happens to be a member of the opposite sex. I would gladly tour with another female, but my wife would never agree to it.
I too prefer the company of women as there is no macho posturing or competitiveness. That's the last thing you need on a tour.

Size 14 Isn't that about average these days? She shouldn't need to feel self-conscious ...
You say cycling causes her knee problems ... is the bike set up properly for her? (Apologies if you are an expert - I just thought I'd mention the obvious ) ... Very often people have their saddle too low, which causes extra strain on the knees, as a non-weight bearing exercise it should help strengthen most people's knees ... just a thought.

T

 

[paulrw]

I'm sure some of you have been in this situation - what did you do?

I've been approaching the idea of touring with my husband and he has said any holiday that involves more than 45 mins on a bike sounds like pure hell to him. (He is fully supportive of my cycling, as long as it doesn't effect him in any way )

He said the thought of me riding while he goes on ahead didn't appeal either - he didn't like the idea of waiting for hours for me to get there and then me being too knackered to do anything once I had arrived.

What have you guys/girls done? Gone on your own? Not gone at all? Have you found a compromise where you were both happy?

 

[paulrw]

an honest question. a difficult answer. i go away cycle/camping once or twice a year. i am retired,56, and my wife is younger and works. i would love to take her/accompany her on some of these travels but she does'nt really want to know. iam going on a beach holiday with older teenage kids and lying in the sun for a week when i would be far happier cycling and roughing it when necessary. but she works, i dont. she is entitled to her break more than me. compromise is no fun,it isn't meant to be. i have had some great trips and would like to have had company but solo trips always make you feel like that in my experience. tell your partner what they are missing,look forward to it, have the experience and go from there. you aren't 32 with auburn hair, green eyes and a phd by any chance ?

 

[Arch]

Size 14 Isn't that about average these days? She shouldn't need to feel self-conscious ...
You say cycling causes her knee problems ... is the bike set up properly for her? (Apologies if you are an expert - I just thought I'd mention the obvious ) ... Very often people have their saddle too low, which causes extra strain on the knees, as a non-weight bearing exercise it should help strengthen most people's knees ... just a thought.

T

I agree that 14 is pretty ordinary - I would say that, I'm 14 myself. I crept up to it, and when I realised that even 14 was too small if I shopped somewhere with a mean cut, I took myself in hand. With a little portion restraint and A LOT OF CYCLING I'm gradually going back down again. I'm not quite a 12 yet, but I'm heading there - I've lost over a stone in the last year or so, without 'dieting'. And however rotund my middle is, my legs are, if I say so myself, jolly shapely.

Also, of course, there's no need to wear tight fitting lycra if it induces self consciousness. Baggy shorts with padded undies, and loose fitting tops will hide a multitude of 'sins'.

 

[ComedyPilot]

But do ask on here too - most of us are relatively normal...

Bit rich coming from you!!!

 

[ComedyPilot]

and loose fitting tops will hide a multitude of 'sins' massive hooters.....?.

 

[HJ]

You say cycling causes her knee problems ... is the bike set up properly for her? (Apologies if you are an expert - I just thought I'd mention the obvious ) ... Very often people have their saddle too low, which causes extra strain on the knees, as a non-weight bearing exercise it should help strengthen most people's knees ... just a thought.

T

Also avoid riding in too high a gear, as this puts a strain on the knees, use lower gears and spin the legs around...

 

[Plax]

Go on a cycling holiday with a group? Plax of this parish did this earlier in the year - a CTC trip IIRC.
Talking someone into a cycling holiday if they're not keen will end badly.

Indeed I did, and left Mr Plax at home.
It did entice him to buy a bike afterwards but he has only been on it twice since. Baby steps and all that........

 

[andym]

Can I out a slightly contrary view here?

OK it wouldn't be my first choice for a bike, and the handlebar position looks a bit bizarre, but on the other hand there's no reason why you couldn't tour on a bike like that - at least for a first touring holiday. You'd need to spend at least £500 for a touring bike and it probably wouldn't be significantly better. Spend the money on the holiday.

As for the husband, why not let him drive the support van/car? Get up late, pack up the tent. Potter about, and do some sightseeing. Meet you for lunch. Potter about. Set up tent. Dinner with you accompanied by a nice bottle of wine. Repeat. It could work...

 

[J.Y.Kelly]

Size 14 Isn't that about average these days? She shouldn't need to feel self-conscious ...
You say cycling causes her knee problems ... is the bike set up properly for her? (Apologies if you are an expert - I just thought I'd mention the obvious ) ... Very often people have their saddle too low, which causes extra strain on the knees, as a non-weight bearing exercise it should help strengthen most people's knees ... just a thought.

T

The bike is set up properly, it's the lady wife who isn't!
I spent ages looking for shorter cranks, (she is 5' 2"), but that made no difference. Cycling aggravates a pre-existing condition, it doesn't cause the problem, but it certainly doesn't help.
Do you think Ellie Harrison would be up for a bit of cycle touring/camping, I have a very cosy tent?

 

[thistler]

Can I out a slightly contrary view here?

OK it wouldn't be my first choice for a bike, and the handlebar position looks a bit bizarre, but on the other hand there's no reason why you couldn't tour on a bike like that - at least for a first touring holiday. You'd need to spend at least £500 for a touring bike and it probably wouldn't be significantly better. Spend the money on the holiday.

As for the husband, why not let him drive the support van/car? Get up late, pack up the tent. Potter about, and do some sightseeing. Meet you  for lunch. Potter about. Set up tent. Dinner with you accompanied by a nice bottle of wine. Repeat. It could work...

Thanks - though I think the Secteur is going to be more comfortable than the Trek. The problem I have with it is that it is difficult to go up hills, but it is great for nipping around town. Fully loaded I don't know..... I just remembered I have an old rusty bike with a pannier rack - I'll check if it will fit on the Secteur. 

My husband has already rejected the support driver role - but I am going to keep working on it....  

 

[Arch]

Not in my case dearie...

Thistler - it's always difficult to go up hills! The more you do it, the quicker you recover, and maybe you'll have a gear in reserve, but it's never going to be easy without an engine!

If you're ok about going alone, but want hubby to share the experience, has HE got a mate who could come along to keep him company during the day? Does he have an interest he could persue with a mate while you cycle (assuming you choose the right area). I dunno, walking, steam trains, ancient monuments, sport....

 

[thistler]

Not in my case dearie...

Thistler - it's always difficult to go up hills! The more you do it, the quicker you recover, and maybe you'll have a gear in reserve, but it's never going to be easy without an engine!

I know, it's just that with the Trek I seem to be pretty far behind the pedals and can't get any real power, plus it's hard to stand up....much easier on the Secteur...

 

[Ben M]

I can't imagine what'll be uncomfortable about your road bike once it's set up how you like it, you've got a nice leather saddle I gather, and with drop bars you have no end of hand positions to adjust throughout the day, that's not to mention using different stems and spacers etc.

it's never going to be easy without an engine!

It's not always easy with an engine if your car is as underpowered as mine

 

[bigjim]

Have you got all the required equipment for camping? If so have you considered just taking off for 2/3 days to find out if it suits? I understand your problems with companions as there do not seem to be many people on here asking for company. I often look to see if anybody is looking for company on this and other sites. with the same negative result. I assume they are too shy or enjoy being alone. I agree that cycle tours are too expensive. It is far cheaper to arrange your own accomadation and travel. I do not know where they get their prices from, including the CTC. You do not say what your fitness level is or the daily mileage you expect to achieve. This will help people to assess whether they are comfortaable travelling with you. There is one guy currently asking for companions that are capable of matching his anticipated 120 mile days loaded with touring gear. No takers at the moment.

Jim.