"I like funny people, tell a joke" she says

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swee'pea99

Legendary Member
Can't beat the pirate joke posted hereabouts lately...

Why are pirates called pirates?











Because they arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
 

taxing

Well-Known Member
montage said:
This is rarer way to approach things these days....unfortunately it is all about facebook adding which I find rather annoying. An add on facebook means nothing, but a cheeky phone number is a good indication.

I tell people that I'll add them on Facebook when I don't fancy them but don't want to tell them that. A good looker with a good joke would still get my phone number, so here's my second best joke for you (as my turtle joke was cruelly rejected): A man walked into a bar and said ow.
 
OP
OP
montage

montage

God Almighty
Location
Bethlehem
taxing said:
I tell people that I'll add them on Facebook when I don't fancy them but don't want to tell them that. A good looker with a good joke would still get my phone number, so here's my second best joke for you (as my turtle joke was cruelly rejected): A man walked into a bar and said ow.

I'm warming to the turtle one....I keep doing it to myself which is most likely a worrying sign.
 

MacB

Lover of things that come in 3's
Bombing was the best thing you could have done, sounds like a needy bird demanding instant gratification.....you're better than that.....hang on...Montage isn't it?.......nah, you're not better than that, you screwed up bigtime
 
OP
OP
montage

montage

God Almighty
Location
Bethlehem
MacB said:
Bombing was the best thing you could have done, sounds like a needy bird demanding instant gratification.....you're better than that.....hang on...Montage isn't it?.......nah, you're not better than that, you screwed up bigtime

Explain to me, precisesly, what is wrong with the highlighted text from a blokes point of view?

Can't fault the rest of your words though!
 

MacB

Lover of things that come in 3's
montage said:
Explain to me, precisesly, what is wrong with the highlighted text from a blokes point of view?

Can't fault the rest of your words though!

darn, I should have said non-physical instant gratification:biggrin: You don't want to end up as one of these guys that the girls think is great for a laugh but they'll still waltz off with the moody 'badboy' at the end of the night:evil:
 

Wigsie

Nincompoop
Location
Kent
MacB said:
darn, I should have said non-physical instant gratification:biggrin: You don't want to end up as one of these guys that the girls think is great for a laugh but they'll still waltz off with the moody 'badboy' at the end of the night:evil:

Quite right... you should have just told her to Fu*k off and slapped her across the chops! she may have stormed off for a cry and to find another 'nice guy' to make her laugh, but she will take you home at the end of the night, guaranteed! :biggrin::biggrin:

<patronising mode>
At your age nice guys always finish last Monty!
</patronising mode>
 

ChrisKH

Guru
Location
Essex
MacB said:
darn, I should have said non-physical instant gratification:biggrin: You don't want to end up as one of these guys that the girls think is great for a laugh but they'll still waltz off with the moody 'badboy' at the end of the night:biggrin:

You mean they do? :bravo:

You see, this is what happens when you marry the first one who laughs at your jokes. :biggrin:
 

Wigsie

Nincompoop
Location
Kent
On a 'slightly' more serious note, you could have just said "jesus woman.... if these ears don't make you laugh nothing can" Women love a bit of self abuse in humour...
 
OP
OP
montage

montage

God Almighty
Location
Bethlehem
Wigsie said:
Quite right... you should have just told her to Fu*k off and slapped her across the chops! she may have stormed off for a cry and to find another 'nice guy' to make her laugh, but she will take you home at the end of the night, guaranteed! :biggrin::biggrin:

<patronising mode>
At your age nice guys always finish last Monty!
</patronising mode>

Alright you crafty butcher you, I'm not trying to get married

Wigsie said:
On a 'slightly' more serious note, you could have just said "jesus woman.... if these ears don't make you laugh nothing can" Women love a bit of self abuse in humour...

I knew this was coming as soon as I saw you had posted in here.
 

Wigsie

Nincompoop
Location
Kent
montage said:
Alright you crafty butcher you, I'm not trying to get married

Not talking about getting wed you fool, women usually marry nice guys but date the peanuts first.

The ears joke was a cheap shot and I apologise!
 
OP
OP
montage

montage

God Almighty
Location
Bethlehem
Wigsie said:
Not talking about getting wed you fool, women usually marry nice guys but date the peanuts first.

The ears joke was a cheap shot and I apologise!

It's common knowledge that,
not looking forward to having to become "nice" :biggrin:
 
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