Memorable Farts......yours or by others.

[Drago]

Thing is my Y fronts are so ingrained after 50 years ofmcontinuous use I wouldn't even know if I had.

 

[stephec]

When I first left polytechnic I worked for a while in a photographic shop in Manchester.

There was a young lad who also worked there who was a vegan who constantly dropped vile SBDs that he claimed were a surprise to him as well.

One day I'm serving a woman and this lad is stood next to us when all of a sudden he strolls off leaving an aromatic gift, now there's just me and the woman stood there, and she knows it's not hers, self-gratification artist.

 

[Drago]

Following surgery I had a spell working in the force control room while I recuperated.

Anyhoo, one night I had bad guts, really bad guts, and I was chundering out some spectacularly grim farts that would have had any passing WW1 vets reaching for the mustard gas cream and respirator.

I clock off at 7 to head home, returning at 1900 the same day. The day shift bobby grimly told me that the foam in my chair had absorbed a vast amount of my flatulence and every time he shifted in the seat a new wave of guff gas was released. Apparently people were coughing and gagging on it well past midday.

I was pretty chuffed! However, the day shift inspector, a stuck up but actually really decent Sandhurst graduate, soberly informed me that Britian was a signatory to the Geneva Protocol of 1925 and that I had been in danger of triggering a serious diplomatic incident.

 

[Stevo 666]

The one I let rip in a small 4 man bubble lift on a skiing holiday a while back was good. It was a real stinker, but more importantly there was no escape for my fellow occupants for a good 5 minutes.

 

[Drago]

Let's be honest. A good fart is one of life's pleasures.

 

[PeteXXX]

Once, whilst wearing my wet-suit in the sea off Cliftonville, I let off steam.. quite a lot of it.. As it had limited egress I could feel it percolating around my body looking for an exit...

I often wonder where it went.

 

[Stevo 666]

Let's be honest. A good fart is one of life's pleasures.

I stand by the motto that kids are like farts; you can just about stand your own.

 

[captain nemo1701]

I see a lot were listening to Paddy the other day. I have a few stories:

1. I once parked by the Natural History Museum in the 90's when the road had parking bays arranged around a central kerb with meters. As I locked the door, I bent over slightly standing higher on the kerb and let rip a loud 'un. When bent over, my rear end was pointing at the passenger window of a car opposite....with the window down and a somewhat shocked little old lady sat staring at me. Basically, when I bent over to lock the car door, I ripped a fart into the open window.....

2. In a local convenience shop, I went to the rear to put some stamps on xmas cards and a dribbled out a quiet one. Judging by the temperature, it was going to be a lethal paint-stripper so I walked up & down a few aisles to shake off the 'vapour trail'. As I left, the young sales assistant took a trolley into the danger zone and I heard a loud, 'eeewww it stinks' as I left the shop.

Remember folks, when letting rip in public, Uncle George has some timely advice:

 

[Dave7]

Let's be honest. A good fart is one of life's pleasures.

That depends very much on whether its yours or the bloke next to you

 

[stephec]

We all know that your own farts always smell good, but how often have you done one that forces you to evacuate the area? 😂

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Who can forget Johnny Fartpants?

 

[captain nemo1701]

We all know that your own farts always smell good, but how often have you done one that forces you to evacuate the area? 😂

I've mentioned this before, but a friend came to visit and he slipped out the old SBD. I was chatting in the kitchen making him a cuppa when suddenly I became aware of an eye-watering pong coupled with a lack of oxygen in the room. It resulted in both of us going outside on the patio...I did enquire as to what he may have ingested to result in a fart which broke local chemical weapons treaties and he confessed it was KFC chicken nuggets.

As a 70's kid, my mum used to let rip quite regularly much to mine and my sisters amusement but my father would always say ' dirty b***er'. That was a bit rich because he specialised in silent killers and mum always acted as the 'mine canary' for us. She's suddenly stop knitting and look disapprovingly at Dad with a 'Have you just 's**t? question. That was the cue for my sister and I to go and play outside to escape the lethal cloud .

 

[Legs]

As a sometime runner, I've experienced the 'running fart', whereby, with a little careful control, you can let out a tiny bit perfectly in sync with each footstep. My personal best is 24.

 

[Donger]

This one takes some beating:
https://www.google.com/search?q=fart+in+lift+full+of+nuns,+"The+Man"&rlz=1C1GCEA_enGB1034GB1034&oq=fart+in+lift+full+of+nuns,+"The+Man"&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQIRigATIHCAIQIRigATIHCAMQIRigATIHCAQQIRigATIHCAUQIRiPAjIHCAYQIRiPAtIBCjIwMTE1ajBqMTWoAgiwAgHxBYnfyYEkW7cJ&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:383aab42,vid:rVmwnqSSU-s,st:0
It's the nuns' reaction that gets me.

 

[Drago]

Farts arent all jolly japes. Theres a serious side to them.

https://www.ladbible.com/community/...health-simulation-bizarre-war-747107-20250925