Mundane News

[colly]

The's thinkin

Yeah make the most of it........happens infrequently.

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Or the sticky-out bits on a set of bagpipes.

Or those people who go on and on about just about anything for ages (not counting Mundane posters obviously) in a tuneless and insistent way.

 

[classic33]

Or those people who go on and on about just about anything for ages (not counting Mundane posters obviously) in a tuneless and insistent way.

You can "kill" a set of bagpipes without getting into trouble though.

 

[Andy in Germany]

Good news: A vist to M&S did not happen.
Bad news: It will happen tomorrow.

Ways to avoid it happening again (probably not a true story):

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
DON’T TAKE ME IF I DON’T WANT TO GO……….

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men–he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women–she loved to browse.
One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of chips.

...

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

...

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

...
And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’

From here: http://claudia.sg/2008/02/joke-man-banned-from-wal-mart/

 

[Andy in Germany]

You iron t-shirts? I can’t remember the last time we used our iron. Do we still have an iron? Wait, wait, it’s coming back to me.... A shirt was ironed a couple of weeks ago for an interview.

(I was interviewed, not the shirt).

Was 'ironing a shirt' part of your interview?

 

[Andy in Germany]

It is causing a major problem and whoever is doing it is determined to avoid detection.

And still managing it last time I looked, which is astonishing. How close do you have to be to fly a drone?

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

Good news: A vist to M&S did not happen.
Bad news: It will happen tomorrow.

Grow a pair. Feign illness.

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

You iron t-shirts? I can’t remember the last time we used our iron. Do we still have an iron? Wait, wait, it’s coming back to me.... A shirt was ironed a couple of weeks ago for an interview.

(I was interviewed, not the shirt).

The t-shirts were fairly easy, it’s the y-fronts that take the time.

 

[classic33]

Grow a pair. Feign illness.

Amnesia overnight, unable to remember PIN number.

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

Was 'ironing a shirt' part of your interview?

Fortunately not. If it was part of the interview I would have had to take my wife with me. My skills with the iron are limited to plugging it in. Then I’m told to ‘go away’ so I don’t burn the item of clothing or the house down. The former has happened before. The latter not, thank goodness (or rather thanks to my wife).

 

[LeetleGreyCells]

The t-shirts were fairly easy, it’s the y-fronts that take the time.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I'm beginning to lose whatever interest I might ever have had in people's bin regimes. We've done this to death.

Do you mean it's bin done a lot before?

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

Do you mean it's bin done a lot before?

I think he means it's bin done to death - but bin days keep on coming round so he's just going to have to live with it.

 

[Tenacious Sloth]

Fortunately not. If it was part of the interview I would have had to take my wife with me. My skills with the iron are limited to plugging it in. Then I’m told to ‘go away’ so I don’t burn the item of clothing or the house down. The former has happened before. The latter not, thank goodness (or rather thanks to my wife).

How to iron our kit properly was one of the first things taught to us by our Corporal drill instructor on my first day in the military.

He then took us into the ablutions to show us how to wet shave. Then, incredibly, he stripped off and demonstrated how to take a shower! He was a small, very hairy ape-like man who seemed to place particular emphasis on how to keep your ‘tackle’ clean. I can laugh looking back on it now, but I remember some of the younger lads looked like they were on the verge of passing out. lol. I remember it took hime about 5 minutes to wash all the hair out of the soap when he’d finished, and then placed it back in the tray. I don’t think that bar of soap was touched again by anybody in all the time I was there.

 

[Accy cyclist]

I think he means it's bin done to death - but bin days keep on coming round so he's just going to have to live with it.

Not much happens in my life,so i actually look forward to putting whichever bin it is out. With us having 3 now it's sometimes hard to remember which one is due to be emptied. Which just adds to the excitement.