Really daft things you've done that have resulted in injury

[subaqua]

a friend, who is in plastics, refers to this as "avocado hand".

It's very common and nowhere near middle claaahs

Phew , thought I was going up in world ... couldn’t be having that

 

[gbb]

As a kid in the 70s, you could buy (well mum did) some cold compressed meat I think in a kind of iron shaped can. To pull the lid off you gripped an inbuilt elasticated band and the lid came off. Those elesticated bands about 6mm in diametre, white in colour IIRC were brilliant for cataplting bits of paper etc. Arm outstretched, i drew it back to my eye like I was aiming it at something (probably my sister)....fired.....but let go of the wrong end .

Arhgggggghhhhhh, straight in my eyeball it flew
It really is a wonder I didn't blind myself.

 

[ColinJ]

I was removing a tight arm warmer which was reluctant to come off so I pulled a bit harder. It came off suddenly and I accidentally punched myself in the face!

 

[swee'pea99]

a friend, who is in plastics, refers to this as "avocado hand".

It's very common and nowhere near middle claaahs

Apparently doctors divide hand slashings into three varieties: in descending class order, oyster slips, avocado stabs, and separating frozen burgers.

 

[PaulSB]

When I was aged 55ish myself and a friend were building my garage. We had reached the point of putting slates on the roof. On the Friday night I put boards on the scaffolding at gutter height.

My wife went to Scotland to see her father leaving the children in my care. Waking early on the Saturday morning, around 5.00am, I decided to do some work on the garage before the kids woke up. Climbed the ladder on to the scaffolding and walked to the other end, stood on the end of the plank only to discover I had forgotten to secure the plank to the scaffold.

Some time later I came round to find myself laying in the stream which ran alongside the garage.

My main injury was to the left eye, damaging the muscle and nerves which control the opening and closing of the eyelid. It took six months for my eye to open and it still only opens about 75%.

 

[stephec]

I was about 5/6 and playing in the garden of a friend of my mum. I climbed her back wall and slid down the washing line post, this type of one;
View attachment 403294
I needed stitches, let's leave it at that.

How many blokes as they read this did that clamping of knees together, and pained grimace, that you normally do when you see a footballer take one in the crown jewels?

 

[Seevio]

I was ... playing in the garden of a friend of my mum. I climbed her back wall and slid down the washing line post ...

Apparently, if you look up euphemism in the dictionary, this is the sentence it gives as an example.

 

[Lavender Rose]

Literally putting pants on......I managed to put two legs in one hole and wobble over twisting my ankle.....

 

[Profpointy]

Literally putting pants on......I managed to put two legs in one hole and wobble over twisting my ankle.....

I think this one wins the prize.
Classic ! I can see how it could easily be done mind so not mocking

 

[Dave7]

This is a joint effort at stupidity.
As young lads (perhaps 10 yrs old) my friend and I were cutting his nan's hedge eith a pair of 'hedge cutters' when for some reason that I cant recall I held a twig up.......pointed with my finger and said "see if you can cut that here".
Well he did.
Unfortunately I hadn't removed my finger .
60 years later I still have the scar.

 

[Mo1959]

Bombing down a single track road with sheep grazing either side, trying to get a good time on the Strava downhill segment when 2 sheep suddenly decided they would rather be on the other side of the road. Hit one full on and now have a titanium plate and 8 screws in my left clavicle.

 

[Lavender Rose]

I think this one wins the prize.
Classic ! I can see how it could easily be done mind so not mocking

It was so easily done - made me really angry - kinda made me feel like I didn't wanna wear them anymore

 

[subaqua]

Apparently doctors divide hand slashings into three varieties: in descending class order, oyster slips, avocado stabs, and separating frozen burgers.

is shucking Scallops on the shotline at 9m doing Deco and slashing your hand the same as an oyster slip ? asking for a friend ...

 

[TheDoctor]

You know those hand-held blenders?
If you're trying to unclog one using your fingers, make REALLY FECKING SURE it's unplugged would be my advice.
*ouch*

 

[ianrauk]

Getting off my bike to have a waz, I put my foot down on what I thought was a grass verge. It turned out to be a very small ditch. I went over, sprained my ankle quite badly and was off the bike for 3 weeks.