Many many years ago we filled a mates pants full of pot noodle as he was slumped with hus head over the toilet, to this day he's convinced he sh1t pure pot noodle out..
I like the multiple ones that go through the tips section, this is one of my favourites-
Save time crossing a one way street by only looking in one direction.
A. Jones
Fulchester
Then further down the page -
When crossing a one way street be sure to look in both directions in case a blue removal lorry is reversing the wrong way down the street.
A. Jones
Fulchester General Hospital
Don't want the annoyance of politicians knocking on your door during this election campaign?
Simple. Declare your property North Korean sovereign territory, then insist any visitors have a valid visa prior to entering your gate. I mean immigration control.
HA Ha!!! That is blimmin expensive though considering it's the best part of thirty years old!!!! I would love to know what issue it was because I know I have it somewhere.
Bird flu can be quickly and easily eradicated by adding a few drops of Lemsip or Daynurse to birdbaths. Obviously, you would have to put Nightnurse in the birdbaths for owls.
Drivers: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.
Don't waste money on an expensive day out in London. Simply burn an old tyre and breathe in the fumes while a friend shouts verbal abuse and bumps into you repeatedly.
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