Toilet roll ettiquette

Paulus

Started young, and still going.
Location
Barnet,
How should you use toilet rolls? Should they hang from the front, or from the back when on the holder? How many sheets should you use at a time? Should you fold it up and use both sides? Is there a accepted way of doing things? I think we should be told.:angry:
 

Arch

Married to Night Train
Location
Salford, UK
Paulus said:
How should you use toilet rolls? Should they hang from the front, or from the back when on the holder? How many sheets should you use at a time? Should you fold it up and use both sides? Is there a accepted way of doing things? I think we should be told.:angry:
Hang from the front definitely. As for the rest, I think it varies, depending on the job in hand so to speak (well, I think we ladies probably use more often than you chaps for example....)
 

domtyler

Über Member
I used to be quite stingy with it before I got married and my wife drove me mad with how much she used to use, literally making a kind of glove out of it every time she had a pee. I have now given in and we buy in bulk from Costco so get through rolls and rolls of the stuff. Probably three or four rolls a week.
 

Pete

Guest
I once had it asserted to me, emphatically, by an irate landlady as it happens, that if a toilet roll is put on the holder with the free end at the front, then, the first time anyone gives it a tug, the entire roll unwinds spontaneously and ends up in a heap on the floor.

Please, please, someone tell me this is an urban myth. I could not bear it if it were true!
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
*coff* I once strolled back into my office after a good pony with 3 sheets of bog paper hanging out of the back of my trousers. Much laughter all round.

Best method is the Muslim way - the left hand and a stream of nice cool water.
 

domtyler

Über Member
Rigid Raider said:
*coff* I once strolled back into my office after a good pony with 3 sheets of bog paper hanging out of the back of my trousers. Much laughter all round.

Best method is the Muslim way - the left hand and a stream of nice cool water.
:angry::laugh::angry::laugh::sad::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

I hope it was not marked or stained in any way? :ohmy:
 

Globalti

Legendary Member
No, I'd been sitting on it because some dirty swine had gone in before me and tinkled on the seat.
 

radger

Über Member
Location
Bristol
domtyler said:
I used to be quite stingy with it before I got married and my wife drove me mad with how much she used to use, literally making a kind of glove out of it every time she had a pee. I have now given in and we buy in bulk from Costco so get through rolls and rolls of the stuff. Probably three or four rolls a week.
:angry: That challenges a belief of mine - my sister and I are convinced that blokes use much more toilet paper than girls, which shouldn't really be the case. Case in point; mr radger uses almost half a roll each time he goes. And starts a new roll when there are still about 40 sheets on the old one, and doesn't ever replace it either :angry:
 

longers

Veteran
Possibly apocrphal also. Don't our armed forces get taught to stick a finger through a single sheet and use the sheet mainly to clean the finger?
 

Graham O

New Member
A famous actress/environmentalist advised that only 3 sheets were needed. I think it was on the old C+ site. The communal wisdon was that it depended on how hairy your bum was!

Have recently tried Andrex and 1 sheet of that is sufficient per wipe, while Tesco own brand needs 2 sheets without an increased risk of finger penetration :angry:.
 

goo_mason

Champion barbed-wire hurdler
Location
Leith, Edinburgh
longers said:
Possibly apocrphal also. Don't our armed forces get taught to stick a finger through a single sheet and use the sheet mainly to clean the finger?
Friend of mine baulked at a Muslim colleague who told him what his parents did. Yet minutes later he told us that in the little ration pack he had in the army, you get the little square that you fold up, rip a hole in and stick your finger through. The digit is used to scrape it off, then the square is pulled off whilst wiping the finger.

My muslim pal wound him up by refusing to to say whether HE did the same as his parents, all the while repeatedly patting the guy on the shoulder with the hand he may/may not have used :angry:
 
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