True Facts About Escarpment Richard, formerly known as Cliff.

[DRM]

Cliff Richard was glad to chop his Vauxhall Adam in with his local "We Buy Any Car" who got it to auction sharpish, as it was starting to play up.

 

[Drago]

Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone and discovered he had a missed call from Cliff Richard.

 

[stephec]

In the early days Cliff was unable to read and write music, so when he had an idea for a melody he'd demonstrate it to Hank Marvin by using his excellent sphincter control to modulate his farts.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard is considering legal action after it came to light that ex Cambridge Professor, Jason Arday, stole the lyrics to Move It for his PhD these titled, Let Me Tell You Baby It's Called Rock and Roll.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

You can get Cliff Richard’s entire back catalogue on wax cylinder. Fans have said “It is the best it has ever sounded”.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard's glasses are integral with his wig. This makes chinging his lool quick and easy.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Chinging his lool in public got Cliff arrested and thrown out of Mauritus back in the 80s.

 

[Drago]

I am Constable crabtree and heres your fiver!

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard raised over 5 million quid for charity by surfing for 6 days solid on a wave of lava flowing down mount Fuji. He did this while having no legs. Despite having signed a non disclosure agreement he was happy to let it be know he had completed this amazinf feat.

 

[Dave7]

Cliff Richard once got mistaken for Little Richard.....not because of the name but because they look alike.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Cliff Richard has a very strict diet. He only eats Angel Delight.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard once got mistaken for Little Richard.....not because of the name but because they look alike.

According to Una Stubbs, Cliff had a little Richard.

 

[DRM]

Cliff Richard has been seen driving around town in his restored Alvis Stalwart, on a recent trip to Bridlington he put it to good use to avoid paying the Humber Bridge toll, by sailing it from Barton on Humber to Hull.

 

[Drago]

Cliff Richard did a karaoke turn on the maiden voyage of the Titanic. His rendition of DeviL Woman was so bad the helmsman took his hands off the wheel to cover his ears, with inevitable consequences.

Cliff spent 3 days adrift floating upon a Vox speaker cabinet before being rescued. While at sea the encountered cabin boys Hank Marvin, Bruce Welch, Tony Meehan and Jet Harris. They decided to form a band to support Cliff, and called themselves The Drifters to commemorate their coming together.

 

[Drago]

The Shadows were originally named as a sly dig at the skidmarks visible through the material of Cliff's white jeans.