accountantpete
OAP
There is a Blue Plaque on Ross Kemp's childhood home - from the script apparently one of the Chuckle Brothers was born there.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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- Location
- Inside my skull
His plums played the two gentlemen of Verona
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ross Kemp’s parachute failed to open during a charity jump yesterday. Ross climbed out the hole with a big grin and was heard to say “Right who’s for a pint?”
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp has his own coat of arms, with the following motto scrolled across the bottom...
Go on, hit me in the stomach!
Go on, hit me in the stomach!
accountantpete
OAP
Ross Kemp has just been down the Post Office for his ID Card photo
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemps driving licence has a photo of his right fist.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp is currently very, very excited about the possibility of a Peaky Blinders Movie, so much so that he has ordered a full Tommy Shelby outfit from The Accy Cyclists Gentleman's Bespoke Tailors of Accrington, Lancs, and proudly struts round London trying to perfect a Brummie Accent
- Location
- Inside my skull
Police are trying to get in touch with Ross, regards recent graffiti appearing all over London
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp has hit the gym, where he eats 20 pukka pies a day as preparation for his starring role in the forthcoming Big Daddy biopic.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!
When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
Ross Kemp hates this poem, as it reminds him of the awful night that his beautifully restored to full concours d'elegance standard, classic 1970's car burst into flames in Epping Forest, he really loved his Chrysler Avenger Tiger, and will forcefully stop anyone from reading this poem aloud!
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye,
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?
In what distant deeps or skies.
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare he aspire?
What the hand, dare seize the fire?
And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand? & what dread feet?
What the hammer? what the chain,
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? what dread grasp,
Dare its deadly terrors clasp!
When the stars threw down their spears
And water'd heaven with their tears:
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
Tyger Tyger burning bright,
In the forests of the night:
What immortal hand or eye,
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
Ross Kemp hates this poem, as it reminds him of the awful night that his beautifully restored to full concours d'elegance standard, classic 1970's car burst into flames in Epping Forest, he really loved his Chrysler Avenger Tiger, and will forcefully stop anyone from reading this poem aloud!
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
After one drunken night out with the Millwall FC fan club Ross Kemp awoke to find he'd married a 1976 Allegro 1500.
accountantpete
OAP
David Austin have just unveiled their new hybrid tea rose "Ross Kemp" - it's a short, compact and prickly little number says David proudly.
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OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp has to collect his mail from the sorting office after several incidents where he bit post man's fingers in the letter box.
Hover Fly
He, him, his
- Location
- Besides the lake, beneath the trees
If RK has any minor grazes or cuts he carefully cleans them with 30 year old Laphroaig.
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
That is completely wrong, if nobber Kemp allowed the 'Water Of Life' to touch him he would melt like a Vampire in the sun.
