True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp has extended the cellar of the Queen Vice to the centre of the earth, so he can nip down there and make a couple of rounds of toast whenever he likes.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemps favourite film is Journey to the Centre of the Essex Boys.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp is set to star in a brand new film set during the Vietnam War, and a prequel to his Ultimate Force TV Series, he plays an SAS Trooper, who along with rest of his unit, manage to get themselves transferred to the Australian SAS, and find themselves in the jungles of Vietnam, where they terrify the living daylights out of the VietCong, NVA, and every American Serviceman in the country, along with Ross Kemp as Corporal Henry "Well 'Ard" Garvie" the film will star Danny Dyer as Rob "Killer" Watts, as before joining the Army he was Londons most inept electrician, Ray Winston, as Major Smythe-Fitzwilliam, Tom Hardy, Bob Hoskins as Dave "Banger" Jones, explosives expert, and Martin & Gary Kemp as the "Dangerous Brothers" filming is set to start in February 2026, Michael Caine will make a guest appearance as Ross Kemps Dad

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is set to star in a brand new film set during the Vietnam War, and a prequel to his Ultimate Force TV Series, he plays an SAS Trooper, who along with rest of his unit, manage to get themselves transferred to the Australian SAS, and find themselves in the jungles of Vietnam, where they terrify the living daylights out of the VietCong, NVA, and every American Serviceman in the country, along with Ross Kemp as Corporal Henry "Well 'Ard" Garvie" the film will star Danny Dyer as Rob "Killer" Watts, as before joining the Army he was Londons most inept electrician, Ray Winston, as Major Smythe-Fitzwilliam, Tom Hardy, Bob Hoskins as Dave "Banger" Jones, explosives expert, and Martin & Gary Kemp as the "Dangerous Brothers" filming is set to start in February 2026, Michael Caine will make a guest appearance as Ross Kemps Dad

Id pay to go and see that!

 

[accountantpete]

Dior, the makers of Sauvage:Eau de Toilette favoured by Johnny Depp are proud to announce their new Ross Kemp inspired fragrance Savage:Eau de Crapper.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Thr makers of Hi Karate are set to introduce a new aftershave endorsed by Ross Kemp.

Knuckle Sandwich will cost £9.95 for a 1 litre bottle and will be available at all good petrol stations.

Apparently it is illegal to empty the bottle into a petrol tank
because after doing so it is impossible to keep below the speed limit as it is so manly

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp refuses to use the screen washers on his car as they remind him of a "ponce crying after being caught by the missus in her underwear."

 

[Dogtrousers]

Michael Caine will make a guest appearance as Ross Kemps Dad

Michael Caine is Ross Kemp's dad

Not a lot of people know that.

 

[Dogtrousers]

I've just discovered that Ross Kemp is to star as Captain Kirk in an all-British reboot of Star Trek. I saw a very short pirated video in which Kemp says "You can stick your prime directive up your arse". The rest of the cast is a matter for speculation but it's thought to include Claudia Winkelman as Ms Spock and Alan Carr as Dr McCoy.

 

[stephec]

Ross Kemp is so virile that a 10' exclusion zone around him has to be observed by any female mammal in season.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp's jeans are so tight they have to comply with building regulations to ensure the safety of those around him.

 

[accountantpete]

Breaking News: The semaphore signal for Ross Kemp Has Put Some Weight On

 

[Drago]

Silverback gorillas in the Congo are regularly mistaken for a sighting of Ross Kemp.

 

[stephec]

During the Iranian embassy seige the original plan was for Ross Kemp to storm the building on his own, but in a rare moment of compassion Mrs T realised that this may appear to be too brutal to the international community, so she sent the SAS in instead.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

During the Iranian embassy seige the original plan was for Ross Kemp to storm the building on his own, but in a rare moment of compassion Mrs T realised that this may appear to be too brutal to the international community, so she sent the SAS in instead.

I believ tha there was also concern for historic building in the area
There were concerns for Buck House as it might have been within the area of damage!