True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Ming the Merciless]

’ard viz will make Londoners get their cars crushed and get on their Lime Bikes

 

[Dogtrousers]

It's a real shame "artistic differences" between Ross Kemp and historian Lucy Worsley mean that we will never get to see Kemp portraying Henry VIII in her forthcoming series "Yet More Tudor Barrel Scraping"

All that we have of Kemp's performance is a short clip of him shouting "leave it out, you minger" at Anne of Cleves (portrayed by Worsley)

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross kemp is so tough, that when he was shot at by an AK-47, he just ate the bullets.

It wasn't Keto, but it kept him slim anyway.

 

[Drago]

The AK in AK-47 stands for Anti Kemp.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

The AK in AK-47 stands for Anti Kemp.

It was... But they soon realised that it was ineffective against him and now it's unofficially known as the

'All hail Kemp - 47'

 

[DRM]

Some of Ross Kemp's schoolmates have gone public about his controversial views on the Relief Of Mafeking.

but Mafeking definitely felt much relief afterwards..................Allegedly!

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp was going to be a grown up John Connor in the next Terminator film, Terminator, East End Revenge, however filming was cancelled when he, quite literally punched the Terminators lights out, after which he dragged the stunned cyborg down to the arches and cut it up with the Oxy-Acetylene set, before weighing it in at the scrappy at the bottom of Albert Square, and using the funds to buy an Indian Takeaway on the way back to the Queen Vice, this was 12 minutes into the start of the film.

 

[Moon bunny]

Ross Kemp’s favorite pyjamas are the ones with kittens embroidered on the pocket.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp’s favorite pyjamas are the ones with kittens embroidered on the pocket.

you weren't supposed tell anyone!

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is a communist and a sworn enemy of nazzies the world over.

Indeed, Kemp is so hated by the nazzies that the famous Hitler Salute is in fact an SS martial arts technique that permits the assailant to strike Ross Kemp in the throat with a bladed hand.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp’s favorite pyjamas are the ones with kittens embroidered on the pocket.

He also has a favourite pair of rainbow 'My Little Pony' underpants.

All made in secret for him, of course...

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp always keeps the last Rolo for himself

 

[accountantpete]

Jake Paul said Yes to Anthony Joshua but No to Ross Kemp.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Jake Paul said Yes to Anthony Joshua but No to Ross Kemp.

I don't think that's strictly true. More accurately, he whimpered and wet himself at the very thought of Ross Kemp. Few people are brave enough to say No to Ross Kemp.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

He also has a favourite pair of rainbow 'My Little Pony' underpants.

All made in secret for him, of course...

Ross Kemp denies he has a little pony and anyone who says he does will face his fists of fury.