True Facts About Ross Kemp

[lazybloke]

The Grim Reaper is currently without scythe; it's been sent for sharpening after he unsuccessfully tried to take Ross Kemp's soul.

 

[Drago]

A few years ago shopkeepers took to deterring shoplifters by placing a picture of Ross Kemp at the entrance to their store.

Sadly it also deterred customers and the businesses folded, leaving high streets full of charity shops selling Kemp's discarded leather jackets.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Now we know that’s a lie, Rose Kemp would never go to Morecambe as he would be far to close to Moon Bunny and her orange juice.

Rose never had a sex change operation, she just stared at herself in the mirror and her body changed out of fear.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp gets so many leather jackets covered in blood his tailor cant keep up, so he had taken to draping a live cow across his shoulders until new stock arrives.

 

[stephec]

When Ross Kemp went on Top Gear his real lap time was 3:00 minutes.

Even though he was a few inches taller, and a few stone heavier, Jeremy Clarkson realised that he wasn't dealing with a little production assistant who he could bully, so he personally edited the footage to make Ross two seconds faster than the Stig when it was finally broadcast.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp invented cockney rhyming slang to confuse his enemies and keep them off their guard so he can slap them more easily.

 

[lazybloke]

Not even a black hole can eat three shredded wheat Ross Kemp.

 

[Moon bunny]

Ross Kemp is scared of pigeons.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp was recently pulled over for speeding, he was caught doing 85 Mph in a 30 zone, however he denied all charges, which were thrown out of Court and the Police Officers involved given a severe reprimand for lying in court, as the Judge said even he knew a 1971 Honda C50 Cub won't go that fast, however nobody realised that Ross Kemp was also scooting it along like a child on a balance bike

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp keeps Steve McFadden as a pet.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

He was threatened with an assault rifle in Papua New Guinea. During a tense confrontation, a member of a local gang pointed an assault rifle at him and his crew. Instead of backing down, Kemp reportedly swatted the gun away and challenged the man to an arm wrestle. Kemp won, and word spread quickly and the crew were left alone after that.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp was Sylvester Stallone's stunt double for the arm wrestling scenes in Over the Top.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Originally Dolph Lundgren was in the film Over the Top. Dolph insisted on doing his own stunts. Unfortunately Ross broke Dolph’s wrist in the first arm wrestle filmed, and the latter had to withdraw.

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