OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp moisturises with Castrol GTX.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Ross Kemp says Izal toilet paper is for weak people. He uses a wire brush.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp cleans his teeth with Autosol.
- Location
- Inside my skull
Ross Kemp shaves with a samurai sword.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemps leather jacket is so tight he had to leave the SAS due to it being a breach of the Geneva Convention.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Not only that, Ross Kemp has been compared Izal Toilet Paper, the likeness is uncanny as neither Izal or Ross Kemp take sh*t from anybody!
accountantpete
OAP
In the original film Very Basic Instinct, Ross Kemp dressed in a kilt slowly opens his legs.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Although, a few years back, he got a special delivery of...
... Castro Oil.
Basically, it was the natural oils off of Fidel. Unfortunately, said Cuban dictator died not long after, so it was a one - off.
It brought out such a lovely patina on Ross too.
Although he has been known to use Sharon's Anusol at times too.
- Location
- Inside my skull
The latest bullet proof vests are made out of Ross Kemp’s hair. This is why Ross appears bald as he makes 1,000 vests a week.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
He's been bald for years, so... Whereabouts is the hair coming from? 🤔🤣
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
NASA believe Ross Kemps head would not only survive re-entry, but would remain intact after landing without a parachute.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
NASA propose to send Ross Kemp to Venus, as he's the only thing strong enough to withstand the pressure!
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
You don't wanna know.
One of Ross Kemp's pubes is worth more than gold!
The person who cleans his shower plug hole is a VERY wealthy person! 🤣
Last edited:
raleighnut
Legendary Member
- Location
- One of the 'Elite'
