True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp once walked into a bank, not to rob it, but to get change for a hundred-pound note. The clerk told him they were fresh out of fivers. He didn't get mad; he just sighed, picked up the entire vault door off its hinges, and put it on the counter. "You're telling me you've got no change," he boomed, "and this thing's full of it?" The manager appeared instantly with a stack of crisp notes, and Ross put the vault door back so gently it didn't even make a sound.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp has recently had a go at being a Bull Fighter, on his trip to Benidorm, however he got the wrong end of the stick, when the Bull was knocked out twice within 3 minutes, and Ross won on points the Bull received veterinary care, and was treated for concussion, bruises & a fat lip, locals said they have never seen a Matador fight a Bull like that, ever!

 

[Drago]

When robbing a bank the ever kinky Ross Kemp insists on wearing fishnet stocking over his head.

 

[accountantpete]

The Schools Minister has announced a new range of reading books for Infants - the Janet and John and Ross Kemp collection.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp is arachnophobic 🕸️ 🕷️

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp's stint in the West End as Jean Valjean in Les Miserables came to a premature end when he headbutted Inspector Javert, played by national treasure Derek Jacobi, and screamed, " 'ave it, you filth ponce!"

Derek Jacobi, ever the professional, remained in character as he said, "you're nicked Mitchell," and handcuffed the angry leading man, before leading Kemp off stage to roars of applause.

 

[Dogtrousers]

The theatre world laments the fact that Ross Kemp, probably Britain's finest actor, will never perform the great Shakespearian roles, due to his refusal to wear tights.

"Such a missed opportunity" said Sir Ian McKellen, sadly.

"Wodger fink I am? Some kind of lady boy?" Kemp replied.

 

[Drago]

The theatre world laments the fact that Ross Kemp, probably Britain's finest actor, will never perform the great Shakespearian roles, due to his refusal to wear tights.

"Such a missed opportunity" said Sir Ian McKellen, sadly.

"Wodger fink I am? Some kind of lady boy?" Kemp replied.

Post of the day!

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is to star in the small screen serial adaption of the Omega Man. Walford will be standing in as the apocalyptic hellssape as the director has calculated the cost of tidying it up for the part will be minimal.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp loves the smell of his palm in the morning

 

[Moon bunny]

The theatre world laments the fact that Ross Kemp, probably Britain's finest actor, will never perform the great Shakespearian roles, due to his refusal to wear tights.

"Such a missed opportunity" said Sir Ian McKellen, sadly.

"Wodger fink I am? Some kind of lady boy?" Kemp replied.

https://ourtheatreroyal.org/s/default/item/7673

The cast of this 2003 touring production of The Taming of the Shrew included Ross Kemp…

Edt: Further research reveals he did refuse to wear tights and performed it naked.

 

[Dogtrousers]

https://ourtheatreroyal.org/s/default/item/7673



Edt: Further research reveals he did refuse to wear tights and performed it naked.

You're not wrong

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp went on a blind date with a TV weather girl, but he never got a second date due to accidentally calling her Betty Mountain.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp has completed his latest engineering project by restoring an ex Vietnam War era Bell Huey UH-1 helicopter, & is cock-a-hoop it now has an airworthiness certificate, however there have been several complaints from Londoners who have been buzzed on streets and public parks by a large green helicopter, with massive machine guns poking out of the side doors, along with "The Ride of The Valkyrie" booming from an attached speaker, the Met Police helicopter was sent to investigate, but cleared off sharpish, when the guns were pointed at them

 

[Drago]

Marlon Brando modelled his portrayal of Colonel Kurtz on his dear friend Ross Kemp.