True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Drago]

Ross Kemp is to star in the remake of Enter the Dragon.

Enter the Ponce is predicted to be released straight to DVD in March.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross once gave a local mugger a "festive Glasgow Kiss" under the mistletoe, then handed him a mince pie while he was still unconscious on the floor.

 

[Drago]

Ross once gave a local mugger a "festive Glasgow Kiss" under the mistletoe, then handed him a mince pie while he was still unconscious on the floor.

Post of the day!

 

[accountantpete]

Ross Kemp's first children's book will be published by Harper Collins and is entitled Boy In The Battledress.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp's publisher and the BBC have both dropped him amidst rumours of inappropriate behaviour towards women with beards.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ian Beale has denied he has a beard

 

[Drago]

Has anyone noticed how Iran has suddenly stopped being bolshy since Ross Kemp applied tpfor a tourist visa?

 

[DRM]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cq8d1wy4593o
After his previous HGV Driving disaster in Europe, involving a level crossing & an express train, Ross Kemp has managed to wangle a new position at a different company, on only his second trip he was sent up to Scotland, but it all ended in tears when he decided to overnight on the harbour, at Methil, Fife, he had nipped out to get a Fish Supper, complete with Salt & Sauce, and, on his arrival back to his truck, he put the fish supper on top of the night heater to warm it up a bit, but sadly he nodded off and only woke up coughing, with stinging eyes in a cab full of black smoke, luckily he made his escape through a hole in the fence, and decided to keep out of the way when the Fire Service arrived to deal with the ensuing inferno, Police Scotland are looking for a shaven headed Sassenach, in a leather jacket, Ross Kemp was last spotted on the A1 thumbing a lift, just north of Alnwick.

 

[Drago]

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp invented the deep fried Mars Bar.

This was by a accident, when he mistook the local chip shop for a public lavvy and crapped in the deep fat dryer.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp signed all his Christmas cards with an Autopen therefore they're not valid.

🎅

 

[Ming the Merciless]

It wasn’t a pen

 

[Drago]

The recently released Ross Kemp documents featured many well known celebrities, including Bill Clinton, Mick Jagger, and Wilfred Bramble.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp has started demolition work on the West Wing of The Queen Vice, without planning permission from Walford Council, he intends to build a Golden Ballroom on the side of The Queen Vice, something he claims all Cockney's have wanted for decades, a place to have a right Royal East End knees up, along with bawdy songs, and poor quality "turns" as well as Bingo Night

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp never knew which of Chas and Dave was his father. All Barbara Windsor will say is that what happens in Margate stays in Margate.