Twaddle you've told your kids, or were told when you were young.

[PaulB]

My dad told me to keep my pocket money in a box under the stairs. I was 15 before I realised it was the electricity meter.

 

[Drago]

When I was a sprog, 2 or 3 years old, i used to fiddle with the plug sockets at home. How I didn't fry myself I don't know.

Anyway, one night one of our neighbours had quite a bad fire and their cottage was badly damaged. My dad told me that Id caused the fitpre with all the fiddling about with the wall sockets

I never touched them again!

 

[Badger_Boom]

I worked with a guy who made up amusing twaddle to pass the time. My favourite story was one about when his grandmother had told him she remembered the Zeppelin raids on hull during WWI. When he asked her what it was like she allegedly told him ‘it looked very small from up there’.

 

[Accy cyclist]

'The bogeyman will come for you if you don't go to sleep'.

Yeah right. we're (me and brother) not scared one dot!! There are rotting bodies over our back wall(cemetery)and their ghosts are in or bedroom,so f..k the bogeyman!!



'Foxgloves' will poison you if you go within 6 feet of them'.

Now that did have an affect. To this day I've never touched one and still see them as 'dangerous'.

 

[Cycleops]

My dad told me to keep my pocket money in a box under the stairs. I was 15 before I realised it was the electricity meter.

The old ones are always the best

 

[glasgowcyclist]

A swan can break your arm with one swipe of its wing.

 

[Notafettler]

Dads know everything was always my answer

Wrong

 

[Badger_Boom]

A swan can break your arm with one swipe of its wing.

Ahem!

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Hiccups is a sure sign you’ve been stealing the sugar.

 

[Notafettler]

"Its a fire engine get inside". I could never think of a reason why they needed to get inside but it saved me buying ice-cream.

 

[Profpointy]

I worked with a guy who made up amusing twaddle to pass the time. My favourite story was one about when his grandmother had told him she remembered the Zeppelin raids on hull during WWI. When he asked her what it was like she allegedly told him ‘it looked very small from up there’.

You may jest, but my father saw the Hindenburg fly over their farm in West Wales. He heard the noise of what he thought at first was a loud lorry, but the noise continued so he went out to look. There it was engines thrumming away, and with big swasticas on the tails. Apparently he ran in to his mother shouting "the Germans are coming, the Germans are coming" as things were already brewing. Within the year it had been destroyed in the accident and a year after that we were at war.

 

[Slick]

An old geezer was brilliant at telling stories and told the assembled crowd of the time he was out shooting rabbits in midwinter and he popped one at the top of the hill and it fell and rolled into a bigger and bigger snowball picking up more rabbits as it went. He was a master at story telling and had us all rolling in the aisles listening to this but his final claim was just too much for me. He said by the time it stopped rolling there were 99 rabbits in the snow. I said, why did you just not say 100 and as quick as a flash he retorted that he wasn't going to tell me a lie for the sake of 1 rabbit.

 

[Profpointy]

A swan can break your arm with one swipe of its wing.

Everyone knows a swan can break a man's arm with a blow of its wing ... but no-one knows anyone it's actually happened to.

That said, unlike geese swans have toothed beaks which cut you when they grab bread you're kindly giving them

 

[Brads]

I was brought up catholic. I was fed enough bullshit in 13 yrs to last a thousand.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Santa's not coming this year because of Covid.