Twaddle you've told your kids, or were told when you were young.

[Chris S]

Swans' beaks are like saw blades. Goose beaks aren't and a goose peck is merely a pinch

Yes - but they can break the skin and infect you with whatever nasty bacteria that they've got in their mouths.

 

[Salar]

My Aunt thought if you stood by a window in a thunderstorm then the lightning could come in and kill you, we were much more civilised in my house, we used to stand in our bay window and watch storms

My mother used to say that. I'd go and get a spoon and sit by the window waving it.

 

[glasgowcyclist]

Geese have serrated beaks and can give you a nasty bite. Flocks of them used to be used instead of guard dogs.

From 1959 until 2012, geese were used to guard the Auchentoshan distillery and warehouse. I only learned today that they'd been retired.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I once told a 6 year old boy (girlfriend's nephew) that the oil rigs in the Forth were actually watchtowers where men with binoculars watched for little boys dropping sweetie wrappers on the beach.

I found out later that he developed a fear of going to the beach because the bad men who were watching would take him away. Not so funny after all.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

I've also been warned by my wife and daughter-in-law as to what I say to the grandchildren. Telling them doing dishes, cleaning and ironing is "woman's work" doesn't go down well apparently. 5 year old grandson was sent home with a note from school about that one. When told to clean up after art class, he folded his arms and said "Women's work!".

 

[deptfordmarmoset]

You can say what you like about Santa but we all know that the Tinsel Monster is real!

 

[Landsurfer]

Power stations are " Cloud Factories " ... even the grown up ones still call them cloud factories .....

 

[Dave7]

As a little boy my Mum told me that, with practice, you could learn to carry yourself ie put your arms under your bum, pick yourself up and carry yourself.
I spent years trying to perfect it but strangely never managed to do it. I vividly recall running as fast as possible and trying it with no success.

 

[mistyoptic]

I used to think my mother was magic because she always knew when a car was about to go around a corner. I later found out about indicators.

She wouldn’t be able to do that trick nowadays

 

[Blue Hills]

As a little boy my Mum told me that, with practice, you could learn to carry yourself ie put your arms under your bum, pick yourself up and carry yourself.
I spent years trying to perfect it but strangely never managed to do it. I vividly recall running as fast as possible and trying it with no success.

such a mischievous/evil mum must surely have photos of you attempting this?
Otherwise what is photography/the instamatic for?
Please share.

 

[Blue Hills]

My dad apparently once told me that god was up there, pointing at the sky, and - he later told me - I asked what he was sitting on.
Clearly, despite a few years of sunday school, I was destined to be an atheist.

 

[Drago]

I once told a 6 year old boy (girlfriend's nephew) that the oil rigs in the Forth were actually watchtowers where men with binoculars watched for little boys dropping sweetie wrappers on the beach.

I found out later that he developed a fear of going to the beach because the bad men who were watching would take him away. Not so funny after all.

Not so funny? If I laugh any harder I'll require hospital treatment!

 

[Dave7]

such a mischievous/evil mum must surely have photos of you attempting this?
Otherwise what is photography/the instamatic for?
Please share.

Photograph ???
1952
I dont think so

 

[Beebo]

Swans' beaks are like saw blades. Goose beaks aren't and a goose peck is merely a pinch

We had a swan’s skull in our school biology department.
it was a running joke to nibble someone’s ear with the beak.
I bet it’s been removed now

 

[Ripple]

My grandma's favourite:
Don't eat the batter, it will make your tits grow big.
I can tell you responsibly this is an absolute lie.