What's the naughtiest thing that you have ever done?
- Thread starter Saluki
- Start date
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Cubist
Still wavin'
- Location
- Ovver 'thill
We had some jolly japes at school. The housemaster was a bit of a heavy sleeper no doubt helped by the vast quantities of industrial draught sherry he used to drink. His study was directly below our dormitory, and I used to buy ropes of crow scarers- large and very loud bangers on a length of sisal rope which you light and hang from a tree. The rope smoulders and sets off the banger fuses which are spliced into the rope at twenty minute intervals. We used to light the fuse and dangle the rope so it was just outside his window. As each banger went off we would simply wind in the cord hanging out of our window so when he rushed to shout out of the window at whichever bastard was throwing fireworks at his window, the crow scarers were just out of sight.
OP
OP
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
Sorry, I have dyslexia and my spell checker dodah didn't pick it up this time. Maybe a nice mod will put me an H in the correct place.I once pointed out that somebody had left the "h" out of naughtiest.
OP
OP
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
Where is @JasonHolder when we need him?
while working on a building site a few years ago one of the plasterers was football mad and the world cup was on . That afternoon England where playing Germany and all morning this guy was letting out ENGERLAND chants .
I hatched a cunning plan with the rest of the trades on the site and started my part with cutting a 4ft x 2ft plywood board and drilling two holes near the top . The Electrician made up two hooks out of stiff wire and rearranged the back of the plasterers pic up so the hooks where hidden by bags of sand .
The Decorator then painted a lovely German flag on the plywood board and hid it to dry .
As the plasterer left the Forman stopped him to ask a few questions and the board was hooked onto the back of his truck for his drive home through London and down the M3 to Camberly
The next day he said he couldn't work out why everyone was beeping at him and calling him a w***er , it was only when he reversed onto his drive and saw the reflection of the flag in his front room window that the penny dropped .
The flag was mounted on his sons bedroom wall as he was a fan of some German footballer so a happy ending aswell
I hatched a cunning plan with the rest of the trades on the site and started my part with cutting a 4ft x 2ft plywood board and drilling two holes near the top . The Electrician made up two hooks out of stiff wire and rearranged the back of the plasterers pic up so the hooks where hidden by bags of sand .
The Decorator then painted a lovely German flag on the plywood board and hid it to dry .
As the plasterer left the Forman stopped him to ask a few questions and the board was hooked onto the back of his truck for his drive home through London and down the M3 to Camberly
The next day he said he couldn't work out why everyone was beeping at him and calling him a w***er , it was only when he reversed onto his drive and saw the reflection of the flag in his front room window that the penny dropped .
The flag was mounted on his sons bedroom wall as he was a fan of some German footballer so a happy ending aswell
Mugshot
Cracking a solo.
No need to apologise Saluki, I could but I wont as I'm naughty like that
Spinney
Bimbleur extraordinaire
- Location
- Back up north
Learnincurve
Senior Member
- Location
- Chesterfield
I have a tale from a very very misspent youth. Went to a small hippy festival, somewhere between the years of 1997 and 1999 and I was sorry to say, rather stoned, it's not something I do any more mainly because I don't like saying "somewhere between the years of". Anyway Bill Clinton was there and not the musician the actual former president, he was promoting his book and playing the saxaphone. My friends and I spot him coming out of a tent and signing autographs surrounded by men in suits and I am volunteered to go up and meet the great man. I decided it would be a great idea to go up to Mr Clinton and hug him. He hugged me back and went "hmm you smell nice hun" I say "thank you Mr Clinton!" grinned at him and ambled off. According to my friends, every single man in a suit had drawn their gun as I did it but thankfully Mr Clinton had made some it's ok motion with his hand and they backed off. Don't do drugs kids, they will get you shot.
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OP
Saluki
World class procrastinator
- Location
- ...Norwich over the water.
Thank you.
I cannot see the point in some letters in words and my spell checker doesn't always pick things up - or I don't see the blue line under at least
Haitch
Flim Flormally
- Location
- Netherlands
No, some of them are sadistic with the sole intent of humiliating the victim. But oh how we laughed.
glenn forger
Guest
During registration at school when the teacher read the pupil's name out I'd shout "he's dead".
In Aldi there's a machine to enter your car registration, I always write "bum" on it.
If it's snowed I draw spaffing cocks on car windows.
If I drink a can of coke really quickly I can burp while saying " Jeremy Beadle game for a laugh".
If I get a spam phone call from India I pretend I'm having a row with the missus so I conduct the conversation on the phone as normal but periodically bellow
"Yah, go back to your mums then you psycho bitch, and I faked all my orgasms!" Then resume the conversation in a normal tone, I can drag that out for half an hour.
In Aldi there's a machine to enter your car registration, I always write "bum" on it.
If it's snowed I draw spaffing cocks on car windows.
If I drink a can of coke really quickly I can burp while saying " Jeremy Beadle game for a laugh".
If I get a spam phone call from India I pretend I'm having a row with the missus so I conduct the conversation on the phone as normal but periodically bellow
"Yah, go back to your mums then you psycho bitch, and I faked all my orgasms!" Then resume the conversation in a normal tone, I can drag that out for half an hour.
MontyVeda
a short-tempered ill-controlled small-minded troll
- Location
- Lancaster... the little city.
i took some post-it notes from work once
Mad Doug Biker
Just a damaged guy.
- Location
- Craggy Island
I've never done anything particularly bad because I'm just not malicious like that.
Really, reading through some of these, it confirms my suspicion that some of you really are a right bunch of twats!!
Really, reading through some of these, it confirms my suspicion that some of you really are a right bunch of twats!!
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I recorded the lottery the week before and then put the same numbers on a ticket.
On the Saturday draw I asked my wife if she could get me a cup of tea. While she was making it I put on the recording and duly gave her the ticket to check. Well her response was fantastic as each number came out in succession. I could only hold my laugh until the fifth number and then I exploded with laughter. She did see the funny side, eventually!
John
On the Saturday draw I asked my wife if she could get me a cup of tea. While she was making it I put on the recording and duly gave her the ticket to check. Well her response was fantastic as each number came out in succession. I could only hold my laugh until the fifth number and then I exploded with laughter. She did see the funny side, eventually!
John
