What's the naughtiest thing that you have ever done?

[SteCenturion]

I've never done anything particularly bad because I'm just not malicious like that.

Really, reading through some of these, it confirms my suspicion that some of you are a right bunch of twats!!

Oooh, what a 'Naughty'.word MDB.

 

[Sara_H]

When I was 11 there was a boy at school who was bigger than me who'd been picking on me.

One day I snuck up behind him, grabbed his ankles and yanked both his feet out from under him. I had no idea how effective my attack would be. An ambulance was almost called, but his catawauling eventually died down enough to persuade the school nurse it wasn't needed.

I got into alot of trouble. I still think it served him right. He didn't pick on me again after that.

 

[glenn forger]

Not as good as my mate Martin. Norwich museum does a tour of the dungeons, at one stage the curator says "now, imagine boys and girls, what it would be like to be a prisoner in the dungeon!" And flicked the lights off. It was pitch black, bible black. Martin limbered up and did a bellowing barking burp, it was like a walrus, bout 120 decibels. The lights came back on and nobody does a straight face as well as my mate, he even frowned slightly and looked around accusingly. " Well" said the curator " let's move on".

 

[Sara_H]

Sorry, I have dyslexia and my spell checker dodah didn't pick it up this time. Maybe a nice mod will put me an H in the correct place.

My OH has very bad dyslexia. So bad that he didn't even realise that dyslexia is an anagram of 'Daily Sex' until I pointed it out.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Oooh, what a 'Naughty'.word MDB.

C**t.

Better??

 

[Profpointy]

A mate of mine was being bullied at his boarding school. The culprit was also in the habit of running into the dorm and doing a big dive into his bed (his own, for the avoidance of doubt). My mate filled the guy's bed with bricks - he duly broke his nose. Mate got caned, but bully labelled him a psycho and he was left alone thereafter.

 

[Profpointy]

Tape down the release button on a standard phone, then watch peopl etry and work out why the phone is still ringing when t hey have the receiver in their hand.

A pair of phones on back to back desks is good. Swap the handsets over then ring one of them.
Hours of fun !

 

[Profpointy]

There was the food thief in university. The culprits were wont to help themselves to any pre-cooked stew or curry when they returned after a night out. Not funny if you discovered the next evening that your dinner had gone and the shops were shut, quite apart form money being tight.

After said miscreants exams had finished and they were going out - the cry went up - X & Y are going out - we're going to cook a curry. Let's just say the cat food was the least of it .... Apparently after 3 days the Doctor diagnosed gastroenteritis.

 

[SteCenturion]

When I was 11 there was a boy at school who was bigger than me who'd been picking on me.

One day I snuck up behind him, grabbed his ankles and yanked both his feet out from under him. I had no idea how effective my attack would be. An ambulance was almost called, but his catawauling eventually died down enough to persuade the school nurse it wasn't needed.

I got into alot of trouble. I still think it served him right. He didn't pick on me again after that.

Poor lad.

'Twas probably a simple case of Prepubescent boy calls girl names & pokes fun in a "I dont know how to chat you up" obscure adolescent mating dance kinda thing.

Posturing.

Arhh.

His unrequited love..

Or...


He could just have been a bell end.

 

[MarkF]

I went back to a room with a woman (rep) I'd met in Corfu, she was gorgeous and I was giddy with excitement. I needed a pee and when I got out of the bathroom................ she was fast asleep, snoring. It was tad deflating and I soon got bored, so I drew all over her face with her cosmetics.

I've always regretted it.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

I've always regretted it.

Not as much as she did!!

 

[swansonj]

Is it just me that regards some of them as nasty rather than naughty?

And absolutely nothing whatever to do with Deepcut, Basra, Bloody Sunday, or Alexander Blackman, no sir, nothing at all.

 

[vernon]

I recorded the lottery the week before and then put the same numbers on a ticket.

On the Saturday draw I asked my wife if she could get me a cup of tea. While she was making it I put on the recording and duly gave her the ticket to check. Well her response was fantastic as each number came out in succession. I could only hold my laugh until the fifth number and then I exploded with laughter. She did see the funny side, eventually!


John

How did you get a printed ticket with last week's numbers on it?

 

[SteCenturion]

And absolutely nothing whatever to do with Deepcut, Basra, Bloody Sunday, or Alexander Blackman, no sir, nothing at all.

Unless you speak with absolute confidence & authority, a thorough knowledge of all those examples & furthermore you are purer than the driven, & I presume you can, what with you being an Uber member, then might I suggest you...

WIND YOUR NECK IN.

 

[ACS]

I was involved in securing a gentleman in his very late teens, who we caught red handed attempting to steal a car (mine), with heavy duty cable ties to a lamp post on a very busy 'A' road in South Wales. We also added a sign around his neck that said " trust me I'm a car thief.'
Local bobbies did speak to me but could not proceed due to the lack of evidence. Spookily car thefts in the area dropped off significantly.

Whilst living in barracks, one of my fellow residents had a habit of urinating through keyholes when he had far too many beers, So I rigged mine to a 12v - 2 amp transformer. Only every troubled me once and not may others after.

In the early 80's we have a serious 'wind up merchant' attached to us whist on a short tour in Germany. So after being subject to many of his pranks we ''acquired" his car keys and implanted a lot of Bombay Duck around his car heating matrix the day before he drove back for 2 weeks Christmas leave in in UK. He calmed down after that.