Wise sayings from your old Dad

[stalagmike]

One up the bum, no harm done.
I can't stand Phil Colin's.

Phil Colin ' s what?

 

[stalagmike]

My dad used to say computers were the worst thing ever invented. Silly man.

 

[Milzy]

Phil Colin ' s what?

I think he meant just Phil Colins with no predictive text.

 

[Nigeyy]

"If you think you need a hammer.... think again."

Actually my Dad didn't say that, he didn't really say much to me when he was alive, but I wish he did.

 

[Haitch]

And someone running up to bowl

For the past 40 years since I got an unclassified at Eng Lit O level, I thought that line read, And a cricketer running up to bowl.

Similarly I thought Ted Hughes's poem The Jaguar included the line, And a parrot strutting for the nut.

Perhaps the U was right after all.

 

[Garry A]

"Any port in a storm son"

Did I mention he drank a lot back then?

 

[HarryTheDog]

When I was about to start primary school and being a very small child my father could see I might run into problems with bullies so he gave me 2 bits of advice
If you let anyone pick on you once, they will try to do it for life
People don't like being punched in the face.

 

[Drago]

"If you think you need a hammer.... think again."

My Dad was an engineer, and taught me much in that regard. He used to refer to a hammer as a 'Glasgow Socket Set'.

 

[Joey Shabadoo]

Percussive maintenance is highly effective though.

 

[guitarpete247]

My Dad was an engineer, and taught me much in that regard. He used to refer to a hammer as a 'Glasgow Socket Set'.

Not from my dad but one I often quote. "The Barnsley toolkit. Hammer, chisel.and condom. If.the hammer and chisel don't fix the f*** it".

 

[Flick of the Elbow]

I have never received any fatherly advice from my dad. We just don't seem to have that sort of relationship. But he did teach me the basics of 1970's bike maintenance and of how to drive. Possibly he also taught me how to ride a bike but I don't remember that far back.

 

[Julia9054]

I had a boyfriend from Accrington that my dad used to insist on greeting with "ey up, Stanley"
Which was funny the first time!
My dad's main aim in life has been to try and make me laugh in inappropriate situations. Every school concert involved him sitting on the front row making faces at me.
He did the same at my wedding!

 

[EltonFrog]

This thread has reminded me of something the father of a long term girlfriend said to me. At the time I was 21.

He was staring out of his lounge window and was pretty fed up. I said to him "what's the matter with you, you've got a nice house lovely children and nice car and a loving wife ? "

He said to me, "I'll swap everything I've got for everything you've got "

Even then as a very naive 21 year old I thought that was very profound. I've used that phrase myself a few times.

 

[Drago]

So you get his HIV, and he gets your Grifter?

 

[marinyork]

My Dad doesn't have any sayings and I can't ever remember him giving a single piece of life advice. Most of what he talked about to others was tv and politics. I didn't get taught any bike maintenance either or any sort of maintenance at all.