Best tried just the once

[Bollo]

Last night I tried to ride my shiny new TT bike on rollers. Won't be doing that again.

So what are your 'never again' cycling experiences? It'll give me something to read while I pick bits of garage floor out of my knees.

 

[Vapin' Joe]

Going on a 126 mile ride with the club after six months of just doing a twenty mile ride once a week. Compounded by having fitted a brand new (And useless) saddle a couple of days before.

My legs recovered long before my arse did.

 

[raleighnut]

Attempting to take the 3rd exit on a roundabout on my first MTB (with knobbly tyres) at roughly the same speed I normally went round on my Carlton (i.e. as fast as the bike/me would go) in rush hour traffic.

 

[tobykenobi]

Swinging into the car park at work at speed after a particularly frosty night. The roads were well clear of ice but the car park wasn't. Ended up on my arse in front of half my colleagues.

 

[TheDoctor]

Barwick Ford on slick tyres. Sploosh!

 

[Crackle]

I won't be trying to jump off that old station platform on my mtn bike again.

 

[screenman]

I used to ride my TT bike on the rollers, wwhilst using the tri bars. Try taking you Tshirt off whilst on them, that takes some practise.

Worst cycling related, rubbing embrocation cream on my legs only to discover it was tub cement.

 

[uphillstruggler]

doing a massive bmx jump on my racer converted with cowhorns.

I can still hear the crack of my ankle breaking and remember the pain vividly.

OR

riding down a mud hill that has the yellow bollards that signify the end of one of the fabled Milton Keynes redway junctions. all I remember is coming around with a massive bump above my eye and a cracking headache.

thinking about it, I wonder if this had long term effects....

 

[ColinJ]

Barwick Ford on slick tyres. Sploosh!

Any ford, on any tyres, as far as I am concerned!

I tried varying one of my favourite routes and headed down a steep lane into a dip intending to ride straight back up the steep road on the other side. I had taken notice of the gradients on the OS map, but neglected the fact that there was a ford at the bottom ...

Ford on Street view

I descended at speed to give me some momentum to get up the other side. That didn't work though because I discovered that the moss-covered cobble stones under the water had gaps between them which were perfectly designed for capturing bicycle wheels ... the bike stopped dead and I flew over the bars into the ford. All I can say is that cobbles are hard and lying in a ford recovering from a cobbled battering can make you feel pretty cold!

 

[TheDoctor]

My friend thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much.

 

[ColinJ]

My friend thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much.

Ha ha - I didn't have witnesses.

I had forgotten that there is a second cobbled ford higher up - I haven't been that way since!

 

[CanucksTraveller]

I followed the instructions that came with my Brooks B17 for years. Never do this.
"Proofide is the only substance that should be used to care for your saddle. Apply a little Proofide to the finished side of the leather. Allow the Proofide to permeate until dry and then polish off."

As a result I sat on a piece of oak for six years. Go and bugger yourselves, Brooks. You and your ten quid tin of Kiwi neutral shoe polish.
I was given the tip of painting on flexalan recently, and it's finally rideable, and enjoyable.

 

[midlife]

I used to ride my TT bike on the rollers, wwhilst using the tri bars. Try taking you Tshirt off whilst on them, that takes some practise.

Worst cycling related, rubbing embrocation cream on my legs only to discover it was tub cement.

Or rubbing embrocation into your legs and then going for a pee without washing your hands....

Shaun

 

[Alan O]

Or rubbing embrocation into your legs and then going for a pee without washing your hands...

With me it's always chopping chillies.

 

[Donger]

Changing a tyre, putting the front wheel back on, then setting off down the hill without realising that you haven't re-connected the brake cable.