leaving the toilet seat up

[Abitrary]

If a woman, to me, ever says anything again about leaving toilet seats up here is my plan of action:

-I shall leave the toilet seat down, and then piss over it
-Backing out the bathroom door I shall continue to piss down the stairs
-If she has a cat, I shall hold its itty bitty kitty nose and piss in its mouth until it streams out its ears
-If she has a goldfish, I shall go in the garden and get a hosepipe and feed it into my mouth and keep pissing in the fishtank until the fish goes upside down.
-I shall then piss in the washing machine
-If I have any piss left I shall piss the words I HATE YOU in the scorched scratty tarmac outside her bedroom window

I simply have no time for reconciling MIDDLE CLASS PRETENSIONS ABOUT WHETHER THE TOILET SEAT IS UP NOR DOWN

 

[Joe24]

You either piss alot or your going to do all that very quickly.

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Respect Arbitrary. Do you drink Carling Black Label?

 

[yenrod]

If a woman, to me, ever says anything again about leaving toilet seats up here is my plan of action:

-I shall leave the toilet seat down, and then piss over it
-Backing out the bathroom door I shall continue to piss down the stairs
-If she has a cat, I shall hold its itty bitty kitty nose and piss in its mouth until it streams out its ears
-If she has a goldfish, I shall go in the garden and get a hosepipe and feed it into my mouth and keep pissing in the fishtank until the fish goes upside down.
-I shall then piss in the washing machine
-If I have any piss left I shall piss the words I HATE YOU in the scorched scratty tarmac outside her bedroom window

I simply have no time for reconciling MIDDLE CLASS PRETENSIONS ABOUT WHETHER THE TOILET SEAT IS UP NOR DOWN

Yeah, what is the bloody deal about the bog seat...like WE MEN have to lift the fuucker UP they have to put it DOWN - what the **** are they moaning for - lazy bastards...and its mostly women who complain about being cold, yet they have the higher percentage of body fat between men and women ! - you'd think it'd keep them warm !

Oh, whats that: they're too bleedin lazy to get off there fat backsides..sorry, forgot that one.

RANTOVER

 

[Abitrary]

I just don't understand why women make off-hand comments about it.

Is it because they don't like touching it, in order to lower it? Doesn't that work the same way for men having to put it up again?

Women are always banging on about how much more emotionally strong and resistant to disease they are, so I don't see why this burden is unfairly placed on men.

 

[Baggy]

Get one of those stainless steel toilets without a seat, like they have in prisons. Even easier, go to prison! Problem solved.

 

[yenrod]

Thats a bit of an arsey statement Baggs !

 

[Baggy]

But it solves the problem - no seat - no complaints!

 

[Abitrary]

Get one of those stainless steel toilets without a seat, like they have in prisons. Even easier, go to prison! Problem solved.

Alarm! Alarm! Hyacinth Bucket in the house. I bet this is the type that brings her own toilet paper round other peoples houses, in a special pouch.

 

[yenrod]

But it solves the problem - no seat - no complaints!

Typical woman: moves the 'goal posts' !

 

[Baggy]

Hyacinth Bucket wouldn't even dream of sitting on someone else's loo. She would only ever use the lavatory.

Incidentally I've sat on the same loo as Mick Nolan from Bucks Fizz, though not at the same time. The seat was down.

 

[Abitrary]

Did it make you pregnant?

 

[Gerry Attrick]

Flippin' 'eck Baggy, how do you know, were you in there with him?

 

[Baggy]

Did it make you pregnant?

Good God no, it wasn't a public toilet

 

[Baggy]

Flippin' 'eck Baggy, how do you know, were you in there with him?

Afterwards