Oft-heard cycling phrases that get on your nerves

[T.M.H.N.E.T]

Any reference to the velominati.

Fvck off

 

[roadrash]

Have you ever seen alberto contador doing a tango or a waltz with a pair of shimano R540s strapped to his feet.....go on have a think..................No you havent have you , so why does phil ligget like to shout alberto contador dancing on the pedals again , ..........nob

 

[ColinJ]

Lance/Lance Armstrong/Armstrong!

 

[Paul139]

"Strava"
"Are you on Strava"

I am,but are you? Follow me, I'll follow you!

 

[Profpointy]

"Oi mate, your back wheels going round" - shouted by small boys 20+ years ago to try to get you to look down.

The modern equivalent invariably contains additional words either starting with "W", "F", or "C". Such is progress.

.... to which the approved reply is "so's your girlfriend / Mrs / mum *"

(choose best option according to age of victim)

 

[youngoldbloke]

'hoops', and much too often seen: 'peddles' and 'breaks'.

 

[Oldbloke]

You paid what!!!!!!? They sell them in Tesco/Argos/etc for £80....

 

[shadow master]

"£800 for a bike?where's the engine?you can buy a good car for that!"
Clearly depends on your definition of a Good car!

 

[Hip Priest]

People who don't race and are English and fat and describe themselves as 'a bit of a rouleur'.

 

[shadow master]

"You've just got a really good light that gets you seen and you can now see......you know that's illegal because it doesnt have a British standard" lol

 

[Venod]

29er wheels are so much better than 26

I have the seat & bars dialed in.

 

[Slioch]

Something along the lines of "I nearly killed you because you shouldn't be allowed on the road because you don't pay Road Tax........."

 

[nickyboy]

steed

your bike is not a farking horse

 

[IncoherentJeff]

"Good condition for age" in 2nd hand bicycle ads. It's either well maintained & in good condition or not, age doesn't come into it.

"Ride it like you stole it" we all hate bike theives, why use their activity in a simile for riding fast.

 

[Mireystock]

Cockpit layout. Arghhhhhhhhhh

Lmco ! Cringeworthy !