True Facts About Ross Kemp

[stephec]

Ross Kemp is the only acceptable male celebrity crush for straight men.

 

[PeteXXX]

Ross Kemp lost his virginity to a gorilla behind the cages at London Zoo.
He did wonder why the lass was so hairy but, alas, he knew no better 😔

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Ross Kemp is so hard he crushes then sprinkles granite on his cornflakes each morning, he then pours Castro gtx over them.

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp was asked to leave the French Foreign Legion as he was deemed too hard, and on the UN Mission in Cote D’Ivorie he terrified locals into simply staying at home

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross Kemp knits 'bobble hats'in his spare time, he once knitted a long narrow one thus inventing the 'Willy Warmer'

Ross Kemp and Chris Rea were at school together (yes, it's true) and they started a flower arranging club.

Being so hard, nobody questioned it and even the flowers were known to arrange themselves out of fear.

Ross Kemp lost his virginity to a gorilla behind the cages at London Zoo.
He did wonder why the lass was so hairy but, alas, he knew no better 😔

She did wonder why he was so hairy but, alas, she knew no better

There, FTFY.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

In 1982 Ross Kemp, on his stag do in the south Atlantic, was fired out of a torpedo tube. His noggin is so hard, he passed straight through a ships hull, sinking it.