Way-Out-West
Senior Member
- Location
- Pinno's attic
Due to his rich diet, Ross Kemp is responsible for most of London’s fatbergs.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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- Location
- Inside my skull
Ross Kemp Loud Hailer is east end rhyming slang for Vlad the Impaler
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
During WWII Ross Kemp did his bit fighting the hun by inhaling helium and using himself as a barrage balloon.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp was very disappointed to not get the male part in the film, that was made in Bradford, that was to have been called Rita, Sue & Ross Kemp Too
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp is only British soldier to have been awarded the Iron Cross during WWII.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
During the Falkland’s war, Ross Kemp parachuted from a Vulcan Bomber onto Port Stanley airfield where he punched the runway in several places, rendering it unusable
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
During the Falklands war FAA pilots had a picture of Ross Kemp in a swimsuit and high heels painted on the nose of their Sea Harriers. This struck fear into the hearts of Argentinian pilots, who would turn their Sopwith Camels for home upon seen Ross Kemp thus approaching.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
It is not well known, but when he speaks, Ross Kemp can only be heard by cats and dogs.
He has to constantly inhale helium just to lower his voice!
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
When Ross Kemp was 'down the Paris Metro once, a tire on the train burst (yes, tires!:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber-tyred_metro)
Ever the one for service, even towards those poncey 'Frogs', he wrapped himself around the remains and worked as a wheel for the rest of the day!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubber-tyred_metro)
Ever the one for service, even towards those poncey 'Frogs', he wrapped himself around the remains and worked as a wheel for the rest of the day!
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp was involved in the 1944 plot to kill Hitler.
Kemp had plotted with Queen Vic regular, old mono-hand Staffenbourg, to plant a bomb in Hitler's briefing room.
The plan went awry when Kemp realised he needed to keep some dynamite aside to blow a safe, so Hitler's bomb wasn't as powerful as required.
Learning of Von Staffenbourg's fate left Kemp most upset. "Stupid ponce left a £400 bar tab unpaid," he is reported to have said. "It's not like I'll get any money back selling his gloves on Ebay- every slag wants a pair these days."
Kemp had plotted with Queen Vic regular, old mono-hand Staffenbourg, to plant a bomb in Hitler's briefing room.
The plan went awry when Kemp realised he needed to keep some dynamite aside to blow a safe, so Hitler's bomb wasn't as powerful as required.
Learning of Von Staffenbourg's fate left Kemp most upset. "Stupid ponce left a £400 bar tab unpaid," he is reported to have said. "It's not like I'll get any money back selling his gloves on Ebay- every slag wants a pair these days."
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Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
After his exploits in saving the day on the Paris Metro (see my previous post), Ross Kemp has free entry to Disneyland Paris, any time he likes, gifted from a grateful French nation!
accountantpete
OAP
A jailed notorious American cult leader and mass murderer has changed his name to Ross Kemp
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
Ross Kemp has thousands of gnome-style statues of himself in the extensive grounds that surround his mansion.
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Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Rosa Kemp has a tattoo of Ross Kemp on his left buttock.
Dogtrousers
Kilometre nibbler
More accurately, Ross Kemp has a tattoo of Ross Kemp's left buttock on his left buttock. The tattoo depicts the tattoo of Ross Kemp's left buttock on Ross Kemp's left buttock. If you examine the tattoo of the tattoo of Ross Kemp's left buttock on Ross Kemp's left buttock you can see an image of the tattoo of Ross Kemp's left buttock that Ross Kemp has on his left buttock.
