True Facts About Ross Kemp

[Drago]

During Fridays appearance on Countdown, Ross Kemp stared Richard Whitely in the face and counted down slowly from 10 before nutting the quizmaster.

 

[PeteXXX]

Apparently, Ross Kemp has not yet received his invitation to Windsor Palace this week.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

Eddie Hall tried to lift Ross Kemp over his head. This wasn’t possible as Ross Kemp is as dense as a Neutron star. Eddie then backed out of their MMA fight saying he will be washing his hair that day.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp never bathes. Twice a week he strips naked and Steve McFadden sprays him with Febreeze.

 

[Dogtrousers]

Ross Kemp was thrown off Worlds Strongest Man for juggling the atlas stones.

 

[Drago]

At this year's Highland Games Braemar was left without telephone and Internet after Ross Kemp forgot his glasses and mistook a telegraph pole for the caber.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

He then got into further trouble when he called local hero Geoff Capes a tosser.

 

[accountantpete]

Ross is keen to win the Midget Tossing competition this year.

 

[Mad Doug Biker]

Ross is keen to win the Midget Tossing competition this year.

Ross Kemp doesn't get the Double Entendre of that event's name.

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp was a rocker, but regularly went under cover as a mod because he couldn't ride a proper motorbike.

 

[Ming the Merciless]

An article about Ross Kemp came out yesterday

 

[Drago]

Ross Kemp, not an asteroid, is responsible for the dinosaurs becoming extinct. Their hides made excellent leather jackets.

 

[ebikeerwidnes]

Ross Kemp is singing Great Britain's entry in the Eurovision Song Contest this year 🎶

WOndered why people were pulling out

I thought it was political but seems like they are too awed to be able to share the same stage as him!!

 

[DRM]

Ross Kemp punched & kicked a Lambretta that was parked outside The Queen Vic, however he was immediately sorry when he realised it was Steve McFadden's new eco scooter, so he took it to "The Repair Shop" when he showed them what needed fixing, they said "What the hell are we supposed to do with that"?

 

[lazybloke]

Last Night of the Proms was so very nearly a failure when the organ fans broke yesterday evening. Luckily Ross Kemp has legendary lung capacity, and was on hand to save the day. Although he blew too enthusiastically during Auld Lang Syne, you can tell by Bill Bailey's facial expressions.