- Location
- Inside my skull
He then got into further trouble when he called local hero Geoff Capes a tosser.
True Facts About Ross Kemp
- Thread starter Drago
- Start date
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accountantpete
OAP
Ross is keen to win the Midget Tossing competition this year.
Mad Doug Biker
Banned from every bar in the Galaxy
- Location
- Craggy Island
Ross Kemp doesn't get the Double Entendre of that event's name.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp was a rocker, but regularly went under cover as a mod because he couldn't ride a proper motorbike.
- Location
- Inside my skull
An article about Ross Kemp came out yesterday
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp, not an asteroid, is responsible for the dinosaurs becoming extinct. Their hides made excellent leather jackets.
ebikeerwidnes
Guru
- Location
- Z’ha’dum
WOndered why people were pulling out
I thought it was political but seems like they are too awed to be able to share the same stage as him!!
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp punched & kicked a Lambretta that was parked outside The Queen Vic, however he was immediately sorry when he realised it was Steve McFadden's new eco scooter, so he took it to "The Repair Shop" when he showed them what needed fixing, they said "What the hell are we supposed to do with that"?
lazybloke
Ginger biscuits and cheddar
- Location
- Leafy Surrey
Last Night of the Proms was so very nearly a failure when the organ fans broke yesterday evening. Luckily Ross Kemp has legendary lung capacity, and was on hand to save the day. Although he blew too enthusiastically during Auld Lang Syne, you can tell by Bill Bailey's facial expressions.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp is responsible for the Hindenberg disaster. He'd been rubbing balloons on the carpet and sticking them to his head as a party trick, hut an errant static discharge raised a spark...and the rest is history.
"Oh the humanity...ponces!"
"Oh the humanity...ponces!"
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cyv6q5e8gvpo
Ross Kemps visit to Swansea ended in disaster, after visiting the pub & drinking it dry, he set off back to his digs, however, he got caught short, & went behind a bush, however he accidentally flooded the main road into Swansea, emergency services are on hand to deal with the deluge.
Ross Kemps visit to Swansea ended in disaster, after visiting the pub & drinking it dry, he set off back to his digs, however, he got caught short, & went behind a bush, however he accidentally flooded the main road into Swansea, emergency services are on hand to deal with the deluge.
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemp has been selected as His Majesty's Governments Ambassador to America.
Hes been thoroughly vetted, and Gary Glitter and Huw Edwards have both assured the PM that Kemp has no links to Jeffrey Epstein.
Hes been thoroughly vetted, and Gary Glitter and Huw Edwards have both assured the PM that Kemp has no links to Jeffrey Epstein.
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Dogtrousers
Lefty tighty. Get it righty.
According to the Office of National Statistics, Ross Kemp has the lowest surface area to volume ratio of any East Enders cast member.
DRM
Guru
- Location
- West Yorks
Ross Kemp is longer lasting than the Duracell Bunny, as he is the latest version of the "6 Million Dollar Man" and his head is a powerful solar panel
OP
OP
Drago
Legendary Member
- Location
- Suburban Poshshire
Ross Kemps new show, The 6 Million Snifters Geezer, is about an East End Blagger who is seriously injured in a getaway car crash and then rebuilt by the NHS using parts from the skip behind the tv repair shop.
The USP is that some of the parts are from a seventies TV so he switches off at midnight.
The USP is that some of the parts are from a seventies TV so he switches off at midnight.
